Guess I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing

 

“What’s on the agenda, Mr. Tour Guide?” Percy grinned, feeling excited.

 

Hermes grinned back, feeling very pleased with himself and that Percy actually wanted to spend time with him. Things were extremely great. He had Percy there, they had finally made up, and Percy was happy and it was because of him. The god was downright ecstatic at the way things were going so far.

 

“Today, I have a lot planned. There’s a lot to be done, and I know since San Francisco has a lot to see, I narrowed it down to what you would most want to see in these two days,” Hermes winked at him.

 

Percy beamed back, before a confused look crossed his face.

 

“What do you mean ‘today’? Or these two days?”

 

Hermes hmmed, “We have a whole weekend to ourselves here in the city. You, me, and city lights and the nightlife. If that’s okay with you?”

 

Seeing the hesitant look on the god’s face made Percy smile.

 

“Yeah, I’m good. Don’t know how you got my mom to agree to it though.”

 

Hermes winced, “Well…she does know we’re…having sex. I told you she said she can’t really stop us, and she’s right there wasn’t any way she can stop us…with me being who I am…but I also told you that she was adamant on me taking care of you or else, and I will take care of you no problem and would have done so without the threats, but since I’ve reassured her she was a lot more accepting of the matter and agreed to let me take you after one last threat to my wellbeing.”

 

“Poor you.”

 

Hermes shrugged, “The death threats were worth it. I have you and she let me take you to San Francisco with little fuss. I believe it’s a fair trade.”

 

“So what’s first?” Percy nudged him eagerly, wanting to know already.

 

“First, we check in to our hotel,” Hermes announced.

 

Not too long after, Percy was gaping at the lobby of the Fairmont Hotel. Hermes had sat him down on one of the lavish couches before going off to check them in, and the whole time Percy felt self-conscious about how he looked, what he was wearing, and of where he was. It was even worse when he started feeling weird about sitting on the couch and praying he didn’t dirty it or mess anything up.

 

“Are you okay?” Hermes’ voice cut into his thoughts.

 

“I don’t know if I belong here. I’m like having a panic attack about just sitting on this couch. Am I worthy of sitting on this couch?” Percy started freaking out.

 

Hermes chuckled and ruffled his hair. “Grab your bag and let’s head to our room.”

 

It wasn’t too long until Percy was echoing his reaction to the lobby at their room.

 

“Wh-what kind of room is this?” he asked weakly.

 

Hermes rolled his eyes, “I rented the Penthouse Suite for us. I’m pampering you this weekend.”

 

Shyly, Percy turned to him and hugged him tightly, eliciting a rare blush from the god and a silly grin. Hermes wrapped his own arms around his younger lover, before picking him up and carrying him to the master bedroom. Laying him on the bed, Hermes joined him and lay alongside Percy languidly.

 

“There are three rooms in the suite,” Hermes said quietly, propping his head up on his hand as he rested the attached elbow on the downy sheets. “You can have your pick of any of them.”

 

Percy looked disappointed and confused.

 

“I thought we were going to share a room?” Percy would have been fine with a small hotel or B&B if it meant that they were stuck together in one room, than have all this.

 

Hermes gave him a small smile. “I would love to and had that planned, but I thought that just in case you didn’t want to or feel comfortable with it yet, there are other rooms for you. I didn’t want you feeling cornered into doing anything you didn’t want to do, or feeling like you’re obligated and feel you have to. You won’t be pushed into anything and I won’t back you into a corner, okay?”

 

“Yeah…I’m okay though. I’d…like it if we stay together here,” Percy started feeling embarrassed when he felt his face heat up at the admission.

 

“Okay then. I’m glad you’re opening up to me more,” Hermes’ small smile grew a little.

 

Percy ducked his head, “I-I am trying.”

 

“I know.”

 

Percy licked his lips hesitantly, and the action brought his lips to Hermes’ attention. The god captured his lips with his own, pulling Percy into an unhurried but strangely very intimate kiss. When he reluctantly pulled back, Percy was underneath him with a deliciously flushed face and with both of them breathing heavily.

 

“We still have a lot to do…unless you would rather just stay here and keep making out?” Hermes asked hopefully.

 

Percy rolled his eyes. “Tempting, and I would say yes. But I do want to see the city.”

 

“Alright then. We should get up before I decide to hold you hostage,” he pouted. “But seriously, you don’t have to push yourself so hard, Percy. We can keep things slow for awhile, whatever pace you’re comfortable with. I’m glad you’re being so eager, but just remember that.”

 

“I will,” Percy promised, before he hopped out of the bed and eagerly led the way.

 

“We’ll be ‘walking,’” Hermes told him once the god had caught up. “We won’t need the car until we’re leaving back home. And it’ll be faster to travel to our destinations if we went around my way,” he hinted.

 

Percy nodded to show he understood, agreeing that teleporting would get them places faster. That entire morning was spent visiting the historical places in San Francisco, with their last stop being the Presidio and the Lucas Arts Headquarters nearby. They ate a quick lunch and then Hermes took him to Castro, with Percy turning red the entire time.

 

“Let’s go to a theatre,” Hermes suggested. Percy spluttered, his red face turning darker. “B-but –”

 

“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to. We can even go to a regular theatre,” Hermes knew Percy had caught on to what the god had been thinking about.

 

Percy frowned, “No…I do want to. This is weird, Hermes. I want to, but I’m just not…sure. Ah, you are talking about a, um, adult movie theatre, right?”

 

“I’m the more experienced one of us,” Hermes murmured, not answering that, turning to him as he held his hands. “If you’d trust me to take care of you, to teach you right, you know I will.”

 

The god gave him a questioning look and Percy slowly nodded.

 

“Okay. Let’s go.”
 

Hermes led him casually into the theatre, and Percy tightened his hand around Hermes’, shyly moving closer to him.

 

“Hey, Hermes? I know you’re a god and all, but this isn’t legal, is it?” Percy asked. “I mean, you obviously look older than me and I’m 17.”

 

“You mean California’s law regarding minors,” Hermes guessed, and they both stayed quiet while he paid the prices of two tickets. Hermes led them in before speaking again. “If I were mortal, I could get arrested for sneaking in a minor into an adult theatre, not to mention planning on illicit sexual advances towards said minor.”

 

The look on Hermes’ face didn’t look like he was having any regrets or qualms about that. In fact, the small grin said otherwise.

 

They sat down in the back and Percy nervously sat in his chair, drawing his knees up and holding onto them. Hermes leaned back and put his arms around the top of the seats.

 

“In New York, we were okay,” Hermes said quietly. “But you need to be 18 here to be considered an adult. Otherwise, under Title 9, Chapter 1 both a and c, I am considered guilty on all accounts for a felony. The close-in-age rule is blown out of the waters obviously, since I’m nowhere near your 17 or look it. I’m neither your spouse, I’m over ‘21’, we are more than three years apart and you are more than three years younger than I. Besides that, even with the close-in-age rule and we were three years apart, I’m still getting a misdemeanor.”

 

Percy cringed and tried to curl in on himself.

 

“Now that I’m done making you panic over my behalf, which is very endearing by the way, let me ask you why we were able to get tickets and why hasn’t anyone question me about your presence?”

 

Percy blinked in surprise at that, thinking back. They were able to get tickets and he got in just fine. And no one said anything about him going in with an older man or said anything to Hermes about going in with a teenager.

 

Hermes took the arm that was behind Percy and put it around the demigod, pulling him closer.

 

“A little Mist,” he kissed him, “can do,” another kiss, “wonders.”

 

Hermes pulled him into a breathtaking longer kiss, making Percy’s head go all woozy.

 

“Oh,” Percy said in embarrassment afterwards, though it was mostly to do with his reaction to the kiss.

 

“Don’t worry, you don’t look 17 at all to them,” Hermes murmured and then the movie started.

 

They watched at least five minutes before Percy felt Hermes’ hand idly brushing against his neck before slipping in teasingly down his collar and touching in between his shoulders with the tips of his fingers. He swallowed and glanced at Hermes, whose eyes were seemingly glued to the screen. When the god licked his lips, Percy shivered and could’ve sworn that was directed towards him.

 

Even though Hermes was watching the film, Percy couldn’t direct his attention to it at all. The sounds of harsh pants and loud keening echoed in his ears, but all he could notice was Hermes touching him. The two men onscreen were touching each other and grunting as they jacked each other off, but Percy was too busy minding the soft and subtle caresses of the god next to him, which was much more potent than any lewd acts on the screen.

 

He wanted to reach over and ask Hermes for more. He wanted to be braver and touch the god’s own straining cock, that he could see from where he sat was bulging in Hermes’ pants. His face flushed red when he saw Hermes casually sit back, hand nonchalantly moving downwards and unzipping his pants. He quietly watched as Hermes took his cock out and began stroking it, never minding the public place they were in, where any of the few there could glance over and see the god masturbating.

 

Nibbling his lips nervously, he reached out and wrapped his hand around Hermes’, their hands entwining to grasp the throbbing cock. Hermes moved his hand and Percy determinedly followed, moving up and down Hermes’ shaft slowly and almost torturously. But the god didn’t seem to show any sort of impatience or blissful pain, keeping the same small grin and seemingly captivated look on his face as he kept watching. Percy frowned and squeezed his hand, and he saw Hermes’ hand stop underneath his and the god’s cock jumping in their joint hands at the action.

 

Percy glanced at the movie, seeing the men now having moved to a bed and were raucously groaning as one of them was on all fours and the other was ramming into the man’s arse relentlessly.

 

‘I want you to pay attention to me.’

 

Percy slipped out of his seat and kneeled between Hermes’ legs, taking the hand that had been wrapped around the still erect cock and placing it on the back of his head, encouraging the god silently to grip his hair firmly.

 

“You don’t have to, Percy.”

 

He looked up and stared straight into Hermes’ eyes, which were for once focused on him instead of the big screen. In answer, Percy flicked out his tongue and licked the tip of the god’s cock.

 

“Cheeky brat,” Hermes groaned. He slightly thrust upwards in invitation and Percy lowered his lips to encase first the head before practically swallowing the cock into his mouth.

 

Percy hummed, sending vibrations around the god’s cock. He sucked and then let his tongue rove around the shaft, his hands moving to grasp the balls beneath. He cradled them gently and then he timidly moved his lips to downwards and kissed each ball reverently. He licked them vigorously as he jerked off Hermes, before moving his lips to sheath one ball into his mouth and using his tongue to move it around in his mouth.

 

There was a tug on his hair and Percy moved up and released the ball with a pop.

 

“C’mere,” Hermes’ voice was gruff.

 

Percy complied nervously, wondering what the god was up to. He found out soon, when Hermes jerked him closer, gripping his hips tightly as he pushed Percy onto his lap and had the boy’s knees kneel on either side of Hermes’ thighs. Hermes’ hand fumbled to open Percy’s fly and he squeaked when the god reached in and took out Percy’s cock, rubbing his own against it. Putting the two cocks together, Hermes jutted against it and Percy clumsily copied.

 

In the background, sounds of moans, crude demands and cursing filtered through vaguely, even as the soft panting of the two of them sounded louder to their ears.

 

“Fuck, just like that.”

 

“Fuck,” Percy whimpered.

 

“You’re my fucking bitch!”

 

“Are you mine, Percy? Do I get to keep you?” Hermes murmured into his ear.

 

“Like that, don’t you? Like my dick rammed up your ass?”

 

“I really want to fuck you now,” the god did a particular hard thrust that Percy nearly slammed down in response to, unable to help himself.

 

“I want you too,” Percy blurted out, before burying his face into the god’s head and the two of them lost control, rutting wildly against each other. They dry-humped until they both came against each other, cum splattering on their pants and a little on their shirts.

 

“Sorry. I kinda got frustrated that you were actually into the movie. I was kinda expecting us to do something,” Percy muttered.

 

“I wasn’t really watching the movie. I just pretended so I could watch you,” Hermes confessed. “I wasn’t expecting you to do that though, not that I’m complaining.”

 

Percy just held on tighter, smelling sandalwood, an earthy smell and a musk that was all Hermes’ own.

 

“Let’s go do some shopping. I’m having a huge urge to spoil you rotten,” Hermes gave him a silly grin.

 

Percy echoed it, “Are you supposed to be my sugar daddy now?”

 

The god snorted, “As if. Though, if you do want something, I won’t hesitate to buy it for you.”

 

Percy grinned wildly at that, appreciative, though he said nothing out of embarrassment. He dragged Hermes out, uncaring of any onlookers, and the older man let himself, clearly amused. He was pleased to note that they went unnoticed anyhow, and thanked the Mist silently in his head.

 

“Where to first, Percy?” he questioned.

 

His younger lover paused, before shyly looking at him.

 

“My, my, you’re all shy today. What’s wrong?” Hermes prodded.

 

“Nothing. I’m still getting used to all this and…c’mon Hermes. Other than Annabeth, I haven’t had any experience with relationships. And you know just how much experience with Annabeth I’ve had, which is practically nothing. I’m really eager, but at the same time uncertain on what to do. So…this is nice and I like it, but I’m not sure how to act,” Percy shrugged.

 

“Just act like how you feel like. Don’t act on what you think you’re supposed to act like. Are you happy?”

 

Percy nodded.

 

“Then keep doing whatever makes you happy. Don’t be afraid to try new things,” he squeezed Percy’s hand comfortingly.

 

“I’m still going to be shy,” Percy said firmly.

 

“Then I’ll be patient, though I’m sure I’ll be more amused and endeared about it,” Hermes promised.

 

The demigod gave him a look.

 

“Gods do occasionally have patience,” Hermes replied sarcastically to that.

 

“Yeah, yeah. So, I was thinking…Apple’s?”

 

Hermes huffed, “Really? I’m taking you shopping and all you want to go to is Apple’s?”

 

Percy rolled his eyes, “I’m not a girl. I’m not going to go wild over shopping or whatever. Besides, I want to geek out at some of the stuff there. Why are you so eager on buying things for me anyway?”

 

“I want you to wear some stuff that says I’m claiming you and you’re mine,” Hermes said bluntly, not even blinking at his admission.

 

Percy stopped short and stared.

 

“Well…that was brutally honest.”

 

Hermes just grinned.

 

He sighed, “Okay, okay. After Apple’s, I’ll let you drag me to whatever places you plan on showering me gifts with. Just don’t go overboard, please?”

 

“Hm, hm. What if I drop you off at the Apple store, while I go somewhere really quickly to pick something up for you, and you make note of whatever you want and I’ll get you the Olympus version of it? You’ll avoid monsters that way anyways.”

 

“Ah, I didn’t think of that. Sounds good,” Percy agreed, though he wondered what Hermes was going to get.

 

So, not too long after, Percy was gazing dreamily at a MacBook Air. Hermes suddenly appeared, casually wrapping his arms around Percy’s neck and leaning on him, looking over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. Chin resting on Percy’s shoulder, Hermes snickered.

 

Percy blushed, “Ah, are you sure it’s a good idea to be so affectionate in public?”

 

“With me being a god and the Mist? If I don’t want them to notice us, then they won’t.”

 

“Oh. That’s good.”

 

“And very, very convenient,” Hermes kissed his cheek before holding out a bag. “This is for you. Your first gift.”

 

Turning redder, he tried not to be too eager as he took the bag and looked in to see a leather messenger bag.

 

“I thought, what with you planning on college and all, that you’d like a new bag to use. I used a little godly power to make the inside more spacious and all, though,” Hermes explained.

 

Percy beamed at him, though he glanced at the brand name and shook his head in fond exasperation.

 

“Hermès?” he asked wryly.

 

The god looked unabashed. “I did wanted to brand you mine, didn’t I? I found a much more obvious way without anyone having to catch on.”

 

“Where to next?” Percy tried to not roll his eyes.

 

“Hm, want a suit? We could take a stop at Armani,” he suggested.

 

“Actually, that’s a good idea,” Percy reluctantly conceded. “If I’m going to be working with Paul’s dad, I don’t want to look like a bum or something.”

 

That was over quickly and then Hermes was taking Percy to another expensive store, and he wondered how much everything he’d gotten so far was. It wasn’t much, just a suit and a bag…but he was pretty damn sure both were expensive by themselves and together, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the overall amount.

 

“Bulgari,” Hermes announced, leading him in. “Pick some stuff out and don’t worry about it.”
 

Percy was already worrying about it, even as he stared around in awe.

 

“How about a watch?” Hermes suggested. “You need a watch and it’ll help you out. It’s more of a necessity than an accessory, so that’s fair, right?”

 

Percy once again reluctantly conceded, though his eyes were already glued to the expensive but awesome-looking watches on display.

 

“How about I get you the Tony Stark watch?”

 

He blinked at Hermes. “Say what?”

 

“The Bulgari watch Iron Man wears in the first movie,” Hermes explained. “You want to see that one?”

 

He nodded enthusiastically and Hermes hailed over a teller, asking for it.

 

“Good choice, sir,” the man was already giving a sell’s pitch. “Our Bulgari Diagono Complication moonphase automatic watch. It comes with a 18kt pink gold case, a black dial on front, and an alligator strap with 18kt pink gold two blades folding buckle.”

 

Hermes told the man he’d take it, seeing the look on Percy’s face, though he steered away from the price for Percy’s sake. They continued looking around and Hermes convinced him to get a brown leather cord necklace with a steel clasp, though the god avoided some of the other pendants Percy had been looking at, solely since those had sun symbols on them and he complained that that was Apollo’s mark and completely not appropriate to put on his lover.

 

“You should get a ring,” Hermes steered him towards the ring section.

 

“What? Why?” Percy scrunched up his nose. “Guys don’t generally wear rings unless it’s a wedding ring. I don’t want to get all this jewelry and stuff.”

 

Hermes snorted, “Not true. Men wear rings, trust me on that. Besides, they aren’t ‘girly’ rings if you’re worried. And look! You’ll be participating in the SAVE THE CHILDREN campaign.”

 

Hearing that made the idea a little more appealing, so Percy began to look at the rings with a little more interest, again conceding that they did look rather nice and that he wouldn’t mind one. Seeing one he liked, he leaned a little closer to peer at it, only to jump when the teller popped near him again.

 

“Good choice, sir,” the man said again, making Percy sweatdrop. “A one band ring in sterling silver with black ceramic.”

 

The Bulgari brand was emblazoned on the top and bottom of the ring, with the SAVE THE CHILDREN logo imprinted on the inside. Hermes came up beside him and took a look, nodding approvingly.

 

“I like it too. We’ll get that as well,” Hermes announced.

 

He paid for their purchases, encouraging Percy to wear them already. Percy embarrassedly put the ring on his right index finger, strapped on his new watch, and then wore the leather cord necklace.

 

“There. I promise you don’t look girly at all, and it isn’t at all girly to have those stuff. In fact, you look quite stylish,” Hermes gave him a sly wink. “Wear it with your suit and you’ll look like an up and coming business man. Don’t worry so much.”

 

Percy shrugged, but he was grinning slightly.

 

“I like them. They look nice and they are nice stuff, so…thank you,” Percy looked at him sincerely. “Why that store though?”

 

“Other than the name is written like Ancient Roman and the founder is Greek, so it makes it really fitting for us to shop there? Their style looks good.”

 

Percy laughed and then Hermes was taking him to the Westfield San Francisco Centre. They shopped around, mostly just looking, when they stopped in front of the cinema and idly searched for a movie they could watch.

 

Hermes sniffed, “I’d rather go back to the adult –”

 

Percy hit his shoulder hard, without even looking at him.

 

“Ouch! Okay, okay. Sorry,” Hermes pouted.

 

He sighed and leant up on his toes, giving Hermes an apologetic kiss. They were interrupted with a loud gasp, and Percy slowly turned around, his face draining of all color.

 

Annabeth stood there in horror, holding her shopping bag tightly to her chest.

 

“An-Annabeth, I can explain,” Percy winced. “It’s just…you just assumed we were together, and during the war and after, there just wasn’t a good time for me to tell you the truth. In fact, you never even gave me a chance to. I don’t like you like that.”

 

It was quiet and it seemed like the sound of the crowds around them had become silent to their ears. Annabeth was no longer gaping in horror at them, but was now staring stoically.

 

“You’re sick.”

 

The words made Percy freeze. It was like a punch to the gut and he felt like throwing up.

 

“You disgust me,” she said coldly, lip curling in repulsion. “Gods, you’re disgusting!”

 

She turned and ran away, leaving behind the unmoving couple to stare after her fleeing form. Percy swayed unsteadily and a firm hand grasped his shoulder in support. He glanced up slowly, seeing Hermes’ blank gaze, but he could see the fury in the god’s eyes and the angry clenching of his jaw. He swallowed heavily and turned towards him, grasping blindly at Hermes as tears thickened in his eyes and he buried his face into the man’s chest. As he cried quietly, he felt Hermes wrap his arms around him in comfort. Suddenly, he picked him up and had him wrap his legs around the older man’s waist, starting to carry him.

 

“I think that’s enough for today. I’m taking you back to the hotel,” Hermes murmured.

 

Soon enough, he was carrying Percy through the brightly lit lobby, with no one even looking their way, even as Percy continued to clutch onto him and cry into his neck. In their suite, he bypassed the beautiful San Francisco skyline and bay view, opting straight for the master bedroom. He gently set Percy onto the edge of the bed as he kneeled on the ground and in between Percy’s legs, taking off their shoes, Percy’s new necklace and watch, and then pausing his hands on the ring, for a moment imagining something else.

 

He sighed and took Percy’s face into his hands, directing the boy to look at him.

 

“Am I worth it, Percy?” he asked quietly.

 

Percy blinked in confusion, slowly becoming slightly aware again.

 

“What? What are you –”

 

“Am I worth it?” he asked again more firmly. “Am I worth all this trouble and pain?”

 

The younger of the two was quiet and Hermes started to silently despair.

 

“Yes, of course,” Percy frowned. “Why are you asking that?”

 

Hermes leaned up and kissed him softly.

 

“Because. Don’t listen to her, or to anyone else. Care only about what I say or do. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says, because I’m here with you right now.”

 

And then he put Percy’s finger into his mouth, using his lips to pull the ring off of it before he put it aside. Then he nimbly started unbuttoning Percy’s shirt and took it and his pants off unhurriedly. He banished his own clothes off for convenience, but when Percy reached for him, he tenderly took his hands and laid a delicate kiss on both of them.

 

“Tonight is about you, love. Please let me make you feel good,” he said quietly, looking up with an imploring look.

 

Percy turned slightly red, nodding even with leftover tears glistening in his eyes. Hermes warmly laid him back, moving above him as he started to kiss away the last of his tears. He panted softly as the god put an arm under his neck to help support him as the god moved to lay beside him, the other moving its fingers to his lips. Hermes silently encouraged him to suck on each one, and he sluggishly but forcefully did so. The god moved his hand away, with a trail of saliva clinging to his fingers and still connected to Percy’s moist lips.

 

He moved the fingers downwards and wordlessly asked Percy to lift up his arse, the boy noiselessly agreeing and following his command. One finger teasingly rubbed the puckered hole, twirling around, before the tip of his finger dipped in. It slowly inched itself in before becoming encased in the warm heat of Percy’s body. Percy shifted a little and he waited, with Percy nodding and giving him the okay. He moved his finger in and out in a steady pace, slow and straight at first, before he started to move it in a circle, up and down, and curling as he pushed in and out of Percy’s hole.

 

Even when Percy started lightly gasping and his hole became used to one finger, Hermes didn’t add another one, focused instead on finding that one spot that would make Percy forget what had happened. He knew he’d found it when Percy’s body arched upwards and into his, mouth opened in a silent scream of bliss. He kept to that single one and kept to his slow speed, letting Percy be driven into a mindless haze of pleasure from the torturous movement that didn’t let up on that spot but neither let him fully let go with the pace or purposely lack of fullness of a single finger.

 

Percy writhed beside him, hands clutching at the downy sheets of the king-sized bed. He was breathing heavily into Hermes’ neck, face tucked into it as the god soothingly whispered sweet nothings and encouraging words. Feeling Percy at the edge, Hermes surprisingly let himself emotionally come undone.

 

“I love you,” he said hoarsely, closing his eyes.