Peace Be With You

 

This was something Edwin had only taught her the basic basic of. It was not an art he was strong in, nor was he confident of using. But it was something that she wanted to perfect in time.

 

The bare aspects of necromancy, and in time she’ll learn the stronger works of the art.

 

First things first, what she’s been working on and had finally perfected. Bringing a dead flower to full bloom once again. When the dead rose in her hand became healthy and full of life once more, she silently cheered. For the next level…

 

Moving onto bugs, which had helped Edwin with his all remedy cure, she wanted to hurry with it so that she could finally get on to contacting the dead.

 

For the next week, she worked on the bugs, hoping she could get it quickly so she could move onto animals. The first was always the hardest, which was why she took so long to get the flower to life again, but once that was mastered the next steps were supposedly easier.

 

And as the month was passing her by and she was working on this, she’d forgotten that she’d sort of pushed Uther and Arthur to the side. Not that that wasn’t a good thing. She needed a break from those two.

 

Finally, near the end of the month, she’d gotten to the point where she could call on spirits. The first one was one she grudgingly admitted she needed.

 

“Well, well. How is my dear murderess? I see you’ve managed to learn some necromancy, likely from my help.” Edwin’s sarcastic voice greeted her, his corporeal form gray and translucent.

 

“Cut it out. I need to make a deal with you,” Merlin spat out, glaring daggers at the ghost.

 

“Oh?” Edwin raised a gray eyebrow. “And why should I help you?”

 

“I’ll…make a deal. If you help me when I ask for your help, I will allow you free reign of your senses while you are here.”

 

Edwin tapped his jaw, looking at her calculatingly but with an amused smirk. “I would need my magic if I were to help you with certain things.”

 

“You have to swear an oath first.”

 

Edwin laughed raucously, “That’s ancient magic, girl. Where’d you learn about that stuff?”

 

She didn’t say anything, glaring at him still.

 

“Alright, alright. I swear on my magic, let it be binding, that I will not or ever harm Merlin Ambrosius. So shall I swear by the roots of Gaia, and my life is forfeit if I dare rescind my word in any way with the intent of harm.”

 

Her glare hardened and he sighed in exasperation.

 

“And nor shall I leave outside the vicinity of Merlin Ambrosius’ presence, seek harm upon the persons of Uther and Arthur Pendragon and that of Camelot, and want vengeance upon the court physician Gaius. Happy now, my dear?” Edwin sneered.

 

“I’m not your ‘dear’,” Merlin said resentfully.

 

“That’s right. Your Uther’s and Arthur’s,” he kept sneering.

 

“Just shut up or else I won’t even bother,” Merlin muttered.

 

Edwin smirked, but did as she ordered.

 

“Am I needed or are you just testing?” he drawled.

 

“Testing,” she snapped and waved her hand, banishing his spirit.

 

She growled and went to do her duties finally.

 

But remembering the two she had to obey, she thought back to both of their behavior since the unicorn incident. Uther had been acting strangely with her, as he’d warned, and she’d taken to being wary but accepting towards him. Thank goodness he hadn’t kissed her again though. That had been awkward. Arthur, in the meanwhile, was as aggressive as ever. Except somehow worse. Still, he had his moments where he was actually…sweet.

 

She hated those moments.

 

Those were the moments where he was hardest to resist, and almost always he was close to getting what he wanted. So she always gave in half-way to satisfy him, before she ran off again. Between Uther and Arthur, she was sure she was going to die young. And not just from the danger the two were always in, but from the stress of dealing with them.

 

And speaking of Uther and Arthur, there they were again, facing off. Uther was smugly smirking at his son and Arthur was glaring heatedly at his father. Why did it feel like she was staring at a dragon and a tiger about to eat each other?

 

…

 

Damn Edwin’s Chinese astrology notes.

 

“Am I interrupting something?” she only barely managed to not sound exasperated or sarcastic.

 

Uther’s smirk just became the perfect image of a cat eating a canary.

 

“No, of course not, Merlin. Come closer. Arthur and I were just talking about you,” Uther said, already getting up and coming towards her.

 

He grabbed her arm gently, leading her to where he and Arthur were, and leaning closer to her than was necessary. She blinked and looked between the two, seeing the hidden but absolute amusement in Uther’s eyes and the fury that was starting to grow in Arthur’s.

 

This…was not good.

 

Maybe she should go back to practicing her magic.

 

Uther firmly sat her in the chair next to him, which she should note there was never a chair next to his throne so he must’ve planted it there, keeping a hold of her hand with both of his and one stroking hers tenderly.

 

She sweatdropped.

 

Arthur visibly held back a snarl, turning on his heel sharply to leave.

 

“Tend to me in my room later, Merlin,” he snapped at her before striding away angrily.

 

“You’re trying to get him jealous for some reason,” Merlin said in a bland and exasperated voice, immediately confronting Uther.

 

He gave her an innocent look, “Why on earth would you think that?”

 

She gave him a look, “One, you can stop stroking my hand now. Two, you’re entirely too amused for your own good and you are purposely riling up your son. There is a reason for that and you’re not sharing.”

 

“Okay, maybe I am purposely provoking my son and trying to make him jealous. I just find it amusing.”

 

“That…is an utter lie, Uther. You may find it all amusing, but there’s some deeper reason to all this. It’s in your nature to have some hidden motive up your sleeve.”

 

Uther sighed dramatically, “Alright, perhaps I do have something else in mind other than my amusement in why I’m pushing Arthur.”

 

She looked at him questioningly, but he didn’t say anything.

 

“Well?”

 

Uther shrugged, “Other than finding amusement in it, I am trying to teach Arthur to keep a level head. He’s too easily riled up, as shown in the unicorn tests you told me about. He thinks too much with his emotions and not enough with his head. Or at least not the right head.”

 

He smirked at her. She only blinked at him, slight confusion showing in her eyes. He coughed embarrassedly and a red blush stained his cheeks.

 

“Never mind. You wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.”

 

“Right…” Merlin looked at him weirdly, not really catching on to what he was talking about.

 

She’d left soon after, but she still had a feeling that Uther had lied to her. Or at least, hadn’t given her the main truth.

 

That night, she woke up abruptly, feeling disconcerted and upset. She was startled when her eyes adjusted in the darkness and Uther was sitting silently on her bed, staring at the wall.

 

“Uther, have I told you as a female I need personal space?” she snarked sleepily.

 

“Sorcery was committed this night.”

 

Immediately, she straightened up in bed and was quickly awake.

 

“Look, Uther, you would know me by –”

 

He cut her off, “I know. I was not accusing you. I just…Tom the Blacksmith will be charged with treason for consorting with a dangerous and well-known group of sorcerers. He was supplying them with weapons.”

 

“Uther, how can you be sure –”

 

“Don’t you defy me as well, Merlin!” Uther restrained himself from shouting just barely. “I already have one child against me and another resenting me for all that he is. Don’t you too abandon me.”

 

Merlin stared at him in amazement, and tried to put aside yet another reference to her as one of his.

 

“No. No, I won’t. I’m merely…requesting a fair trial, Uther.”

 

“Of course I will give him fair trial, even if Morgana does not believe me. You believe me, don’t you?” Uther’s voice was tinged heavily in bitterness.

 

“Yes.”

 

Startled, he finally glanced at her.

 

“…Thank you. At least someone believes in me still.”

 

“I woke up feeling strong magic at work. Was that what happened tonight with Tom and the sorcerers?” Merlin asked, bringing up what was making her feel anxious.

 

Uther looked thoughtful, “I’m not sure. We did not catch exactly what was going on. But we’re positive they were sorcerers and Tom was accepting payment from them.”

 

“They are the very same? Description and all?” Merlin made sure.

 

“Yes. The exact nature of magic that went on is not known, but it happened. Tom himself confirmed it.”

 

“Do you mind me going to where it happened and investigating? I just have a bad feeling of what happened there.”

 

“Go on. If it will help,” Uther was morose again.

 

“I will take care of things, if I must,” Merlin sighed.

 

“Morgana said she will never forgive me if I kill Tom. Please, Merlin. Find proof of his innocence. I don’t want to lose her. For all her disagreeableness with me and the distance growing between us, I do consider her a daughter and would not wish her gone from my side.”

 

Merlin nodded solemnly. But she couldn’t help the odd thought passing her mind, wishing he’d tell her he’d considered her a daughter. She was part of the family, she understood that, but…as what?

 

It just…would be nice to hear him say it straight to her. He never said it to her, but…did he consider her a daughter?

 

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Gwen had told her what her father had told her and Gaius had deduced it had been the work of alchemy, specifically the Maidstone. She’d searched for it in Edwin’s notes, finding it was also called the Philosopher’s Stone. It had the ability to transform base metals into gold and even able to produce the elixir of life. Unable to finish reading his notes because she was being called on by Uther, using the same little boy he seemed to always use to call her with, she headed out.

 

In the darkening day, she walked out of the room she was in and was going to cross the courtyard, when she saw the wagon being wheeled out and the body hidden underneath the white cloth. She grew cold and felt like throwing up when she heard Gwen’s unmistakable scream.

 

She ran to the throne room.

 

Uther sat there miserably, his jaw clenching and unclenching and leaning on his hand. Her body moved on automatic, but she didn’t try to stop herself. She cocked her fist back and punched him, and he flew off his throne to land on the hard cobblestone. He looked at her wide-eyed and guilty, but accepting.

 

“Morgana told me the trial would just be a formality and that you’d planned to kill Tom anyway. I believed in you,” she hissed out.

 

“H-he tried to escape.”

 

“Because Morgana helped him!”

 

“I know! Deep down inside, of course I knew that! How else would the blacksmith have gotten the key? In my anger at her betrayal and my belief he was guilty because he tried to escape, I lashed out and ordered he be executed on sight. I’m sorry…What was I to do? Who was I to punish? Morgana or the blacksmith? I acted out blindly and gave the order without thought.”

 

Merlin frowned heavily at him, her hand aching but wanting to strike him again. She ignored the slight pang of jealousy of how much he cared for the Lady Morgana.

 

“You idiot man. Your temper will be the death of you,” she said simply, kneeling down anyway and giving him her hand.

 

Helping him out, she looked away unhappily from the hopeful man.

 

“What…what are you…”

 

“You will not have anyone behind you this time,” she said quietly, forcing herself to stare him in the eyes. “I am angry at you…and disappointed. But you won’t have anyone else after this, and I will not leave your side. Even if Morgana forgives you after this, she will never forget.”

 

“She won’t,” he agreed resignedly.

 

The doors banged opened, and a furious Morgana stormed through, heading straight for Uther.

 

“You have blood on your hands, Uther Pendragon!” she hissed out, eyes narrowed and anger emanating from every pore. “Blood that will never wash off!”

 

“May I remind you that you are speaking to your King?” Uther spat back out with disdain, all the hard work Merlin put into calming him out the window.

 

“May I remind you that a King is wise and just?” Morgana mocked tearfully and rebelliously. “You are neither. You rule only with the sword.”

 

“You know nothing of what it means to be a King. The fate of Camelot rests in my hands. It’s my responsibility to protect the people of this land from its enemies.”

 

“Then the kingdom is doomed,” Morgana sneered.

 

Uther looked at her, hiding his pain but clearly showing his disbelief. Merlin, glad that she seemed to be forgotten and ignored, tried slinking back into the shadows, only for Uther to snap his head towards her quickly and plead silently with his eyes. She gave up and stayed where she was, watching the proceedings with eyes full of dread.

 

“One by one, you make enemies of us all,” she looked back defiantly, eyes still tearing up.

 

“You speak treason, Morgana,” Uther surprisingly kept his voice leveled.

 

“Only a madman hears the truth as treason.”

 

This time, there was no hiding the pure anger and rage in Uther, though the pain was masked still very well. Only Merlin caught that, but only because she knew Uther too well not to have.

 

“Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained,” the King threatened.

 

“You just try,” Morgana challenged arrogantly, disgust clear on her face.

 

Merlin watched in disbelief as Uther called the guards in to take Morgana to the dungeons.

 

“You will remain there until you have learned your lesson,” Uther declared angrily.

 

“Then release me because I’ve already learned it. That you care not for me –or anyone but yourself! That you’re driven mad by power. That you’re a tyrant.”

 

Morgana was taken away and Merlin stood there, undecided on how she should react to the whole thing.

 

“Well? Any more criticism to throw my way?” Uther’s bitter voice rang out in the suddenly silent room, and she looked at him, seeing his downed head and resentful and pained face.

 

“No. Well, other than that you once again lashed out in anger,” she remarked candidly, unwilling to put more bite into her words.

 

He gave a small smile before he grimaced and sat down heavily on the stone floor.

 

“You would choose to side with her than myself,” Uther stated without looking at her.

 

“My heart and mind tell me to side with her. I choose to side with you,” she said firmly. “Everything in me agrees somewhat with Morgana, but at the same time it is as I’ve always told you. I understand. I see why you feel this way, and I understand your reasoning. I know you and I know why you do the things you do. And most of all, I will not question you.”

 

“Thank you,” he muttered.

 

“I have to go see Morgana.”

 

“Why?” he didn’t bother to hide the lingering pain and bitterness.

 

“I may be behind you, but she is still dear to me. I will not leave her behind, because of my loyalty to you and Arthur,” Merlin sighed.

 

“Fine,” he acknowledged reluctantly. “But come back after.”

 

“Tonight. I’ll steal your bed. I have to check on Gwen and then look on Arthur right now. He probably must be wondering where I am…”

 

She left him and headed straight to Morgana’s cell, watching the chained womanly cautiously but sadly.

 

“Morgana,” she called out and the Lady’s head immediately looked to her. Her eyes brightened and a smile grew on her face, forcing Merlin to hide the grimace that almost shown on her face.

 

“Merlin! Thank goodness!” Morgana cried out in relief.

 

Reluctantly, Merlin approached Morgana in the cell, letting the door bang shut behind her.

 

“Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to see you! Uther’s at it again! First he’s killed Gwen’s father and now he’s shut me up in here, only because I speak truth and he does not wish to hear it!”

 

When she was close enough to her, Morgana quickly grabbed onto Merlin and held onto her, crying softly into the sorceress’ shirt. Merlin awkwardly wrapped her slim arms around the King’s ward.

 

“I hear what you are saying, Morgana. But you spoke out of turn,” Merlin surprisingly said.

 

Morgana blinked up at her in confusion, “W-What?”

 

“You speak truth, but you cannot speak so boldly. Not to the King. You have grown so comfortably in your station and around them; they have given you so much familiarity. You have grown used to it, so much that you do not think to censor yourself any longer. I speak only as a servant, Morgana. Servants are of a lowly station and we always shut our mouths, and speak not a word against the King.

 

“You may be of high rank, milady, but he is still the King and above you. You forget that in your familiarity.”

 

“I-I don’t like it,” she mumbled unhappily.

 

“You don’t have to like it,” Merlin sighed. “Look at me, milady. The King is the King. We are all his subjects, even Arthur. No matter our relationship to the King, we speak to him as he likes. Remember that, milady. I don’t wish to speak things that may upset you, but only wish for you to understand the position you are in beyond personal feelings. The King is always right, no matter if he is actually wrong, and it is disrespectful and treasonous to speak out against him –even if you are his ward…or his son. I just want you to know that. I don’t want you to be chained again.”

 

“Don’t call me ‘milady’, Merlin,” Morgana frowned, averting her face as she still clung to Merlin.

 

“I’m sorry. Habits.”

 

Morgana gave her a huge surprise, leaning closer and kissing her square on the mouth. Merlin stiffened up, wondering if she could discreetly back away.

 

She didn’t know what was more disturbing and awkward. Being kissed by Uther or being kissed by Morgana.

 

Merlin gently pushed Morgana away, stepping back a few steps.

 

“I have to tend to Arthur now,” she hid her twitches.

 

Morgana sighed, but nodded.

 

Merlin retreated as fast as she could without being obvious.

 

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She’d gone straight to check on Gwen, seeing her distraught friend crying quietly at the table. And as awkward as it was with Morgana, she sat with Gwen and allowed her friend to sob and clutch onto her.

 

Arthur interrupted her tending to Gwen, looking morosely at the two.

 

“Forgive me…I am only here to inform Guinevere that she and her job are safe. I am sorry for your father,” he apologized, and Merlin felt a pang of fondness that she ignored. Still, for him to come here and say that…and mean it…

 

“Thank you, milord. It means much to me. I must leave now,” Gwen offered a teary smile, looking back with grateful and loving eyes to Merlin, before leaving in a hurry and hiding her face.

 

“That was very kind of you,” Merlin couldn’t resist saying, letting herself smile in affection at Arthur.

 

He smiled sadly at her, “I meant it…and she was your friend. And Tom should not have been killed either. Guinevere is a good person, as was her father. Neither of them deserved this.”

 

Merlin felt light-hearted at that and allowed herself to hug him gently.

 

“That said…I see that perhaps you do prefer women and that is why you avoid my advances,” he said jokingly just as she started to pull away, though a hint of jealousy was still in his voice.

 

“What?” she asked in confusion.

 

“I saw Morgana kiss you earlier. And I know how she and Guinevere feel about you. If you preferred women, you should’ve just told me instead of making up excuses –not that that would have stopped me, I just would have tried harder,” Arthur teased, but he couldn’t help the jealousy he knew was unfounded.

 

“Shut up,” she glowered at him.

 

“Sorry, sorry. I know you don’t like them like that either, just…I can’t help myself. I’ll feel jealous of whoever you’re with, no matter what or whom,” he said sheepishly, giving her a hesitant smile.

 

Damn. This was another one of Arthur’s sweet moments, and she was feeling fond resignation starting to settle in. She didn’t want to give in, but with Arthur being so sweet as he was with Gwen and herself, and the adorableness he was showing now with his pouting, she felt herself wanting to give in. In fact, she felt like she was.

 

“Just because I am reluctant to give in to you does not mean that you aren’t what I want,” she revealed reluctantly.

 

And she turned away and kept silent, even though he started to gaze hopefully at her, hiding her frustrated and miserable thoughts.

 

By the time she had headed to Uther’s, her misery had fully encompassed her.

 

“You look as if my cat ate your canary,” he remarked candidly, smiling tiredly.

 

She looked blankly at him, “You don’t have a cat.”

 

“Are you alright?” He became more worried, seeing her disturbed state.

 

She ignored him and slipped in beside him, facing away from him on her side and squeezing her eyes tightly.

 

“Merlin…?”

 

“Your son makes me want to give in so badly,” she murmured, trying to stop herself from crying.

 

She could feel the tears that wanted to force their way out, but she refused adamantly.

 

A calloused hand threaded through her hair gently.

 

“Then why don’t you?” Uther asked softly.

 

“Because I can’t,” and she refused to explain either.

 

“What would it take…for you to give in then? Close to death?”

 

“I’m not afraid of dying for him or you,” she muttered into the pillow, as she turned her head and muffled her face into it.

 

“Touching, but I’m not talking about your death. If Arthur was close to death…or if I was…would you not allow yourself to care for us without reservation?”

 

“Now that’s cold, Uther. Planning something like that just so I would give in to you Pendragons is just bad taste,” she finally turned over and stuck her tongue out at him, feeling cheered up.

 

But he was still solemn. “I was being serious. And I wouldn’t orchestrate such a thing. You’re right, it would be tasteless. But if something like that happened, would you not allow yourself then?”

 

She looked hesitant, “I don’t know…I guess…”

 

“Then promise me that if something happens to either myself or Arthur, you will allow yourself that chance.”

 

“You’re so morbid,” she muttered and didn’t look at him.

 

“Promise.”
 

“…I promise.”

 

Uther sighed but felt more relieved, looking it too.

 

Merlin was still hesitant. “Will you…will you release Morgana from the dungeons?”

 

Uther stiffened, staring incredulously at her. “And why would I do that? I care for her deeply, as you have, but she disrespected myself and my authority. I cannot let it pass.”

 

“Please, Uther,” she bit her lip. “In exchange, I won’t use magic for a week. Just please, do this for me.”

 

He pursed his lips, “Would you not use magic for a month for this?”

 

She winced, “Yes.”

 

He sighed in aggravation, but there was a hint of relief in it, hinting that he was glad Merlin had forced his hand in this. He had not wanted to punish Morgana, but he couldn’t help his reaction.

 

“Very well.”

 

She opened her mouth to say the oath, but he placed a hand on it.

 

“No, Merlin. If you are willing to cut off your magic for this, then I will. For you. You don’t have to take the oath.”

 

“Okay. Thank you,” she murmured.

 

The next day, Arthur was sent to the dungeons to release Morgana on his father’s orders, who had also ordered him to say that she was only being released by Arthur’s request. And that Arthur had supposedly done this by promising Uther that Morgana wouldn’t challenge his authority ever again. It was strange, but Arthur pushed it aside. For now.

 

Because he had a feeling that Merlin had something to do with his father’s decision.

 

“Come to do your father’s bidding? Is it off with my head already?” Morgana spat out at him, glaring daggers.

 

He frowned, “No. I’m here to release you…I told my father that you wouldn’t challenge his authority again. You must tread carefully.”

 

Morgana’s face had a flash of discomfort as well as gratefulness, before she wiped it clean of any emotion other than mock and dislike. Her discontent was easily seen.

 

She sauntered up to him, smirking almost in a sneering fashion and he stopped himself from retorting about her ridiculousness.

 

“I see the way you look at him,” Morgana’s smirk widened.

 

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. Who? His father?

 

“Merlin’s not interested,” she continued slyly, her face coy and definitely sneering by then. “Merlin doesn’t swing the other way.”

 

Arthur blinked and didn’t know whether he should scowl in jealousy and displeasure at her words, or laugh at the irony that was building up by seconds. This was probably what Uther and Merlin did together; laugh at the idiocies of the people they were weaving webs around. Or shake their heads at them all. They probably did that about him before he found out. Maybe they still did.

 

Well, he was part of their game now and he could play just as well. He was a fast learner anyhow.

 

He brightly grinned at Morgana, confusing her, before leaning closer and invading her space.

 

“I wouldn’t say that, Morgana. I’m quite aware that Merlin doesn’t swing the other way. Hence, my advantage.”

 

And he turned on his heel and left her behind to find her own way out, feeling very smug with himself.

 

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That night, having avoided Uther and Arthur, Merlin felt it again. The feeling of strong magic at work. Frowning to herself, she traipsed outside and wandered around, her eyes widening when she caught sight of Morgana fleeing Camelot into the woods.

 

What happened next she couldn’t believe.

 

Morgana made a bargain with the enemy, the sorcerer Tauren accepting her offer. And in the end, the plot would have Uther dead.

 

It was unanticipated. It was unacceptable. She felt a mixture of shock and betrayal. Kind and caring Morgana wanted Uther dead? It was surprising and yet to be honest, it really…wasn’t. For awhile now, Morgana and Uther had been growing apart and resentment and ill feelings had been increasing between the two. But how could Morgana? She was Merlin’s beautiful and loving friend…it felt wrong and while Merlin felt betrayed on Uther’s behalf, she was also feeling the betrayal of finding out Morgana was capable of such a thing.

 

In the end, Merlin was going to end up a monster in the future…she didn’t want to have Morgana on the same path.

 

A colder part of her agreed with Morgana and said let Uther die.

 

It was the Merlin of the future. It was the Merlin that knew that if Uther was out of the way, magic could freely run rampant through the land, without fear and persecution. It was the Merlin that wanted to be free of Uther’s manipulation. For despite their mounting closeness, Merlin was still just Uther’s pawn and under his rule.

 

If Uther was dead, the land would be happier, magic would be free from its constraints, and she would be free to use magic and from Uther’s control.

 

She shook her head and paced angrily in an empty room in the castle. She hadn’t wanted to be found, so she found just a random place to hide out in.

 

Summoning Edwin’s spirit, she silently stood and glared at him. He raised an eyebrow back and didn’t say anything either. But she stayed quiet and so he gave a sigh of exasperation and gave in.

 

“What’s bothered you so, my lovely sorceress?” Edwin gestured ‘go on’ with his hand extravagantly.

 

“You hated Uther. Why?” she frowned and didn’t say anything more.

 

His mood darkened, and similarly so did the look on his face.

 

With a snarl, he explained his hatred. “My parents. When the court sorceress Nimueh fled, I was only a boy. Soon after she fled, began the Great Purge. Uther ordered anyone who practiced magic to be executed if they did not repent their ways. My parents refused and were killed for it.”

 

Of course, he left out that they were using dark magic. It was the thought that counted, right?

 

Her frown deepened. Another thing against Uther. And he hadn’t told her that Nimueh had been the court sorceress. What else was he keeping from her?

 

“Would you still want him dead?”

 

“Yes. I’d let him die, no matter how his death comes about,” Edwin spat out.

 

“Follow close to me and don’t say a word,” she snapped at him, and headed down to the caverns.

 

Both of Edwin’s eyebrows raised up at the sight of the Great Dragon hovering above its rock, wings flapping and smoke billowing from its nostril.

 

“They were holding a dragon here. A dragon,” Edwin muttered to himself, looking away and giving the impression of giving Merlin privacy to talk to the dragon.

 

“There is a conspiracy to kill the King. What should I do?” she growled out, unhappy with the fact practically everyone (including a part of herself) was telling her to just let Uther die. She felt helpless and without hope.

 

“Let him die, of course,” the Great Dragon’s voice rumbled from its chest, as it settled down uncaringly on its rock and laid its head on its arms. The dragon closed its eyes, seemingly ignoring them.

 

“Of course you would say that. Why wouldn’t you say anything else? You would want him dead, as you’ve always wished.”

 

She turned on her heel and stomped away, Edwin at her heels and suddenly very interested in the topic at hand.

 

“I had no idea another murder plot was on its way once again for Uther. Why, now I demand you let him die. Just think about it. Uther dead, you can practically be Queen and use magic freely.”

 

“Shut up,” she glared at him before continuing her way.

 

“Oh, but I’m just offering my humble opinion. The world would be better off without Uther Pendragon.”

 

She steamed quietly, gritting her teeth harshly.

 

“If it was the other way around, the King wouldn’t hesitate for your death. You should get rid of him before he gets rid of you.”

 

She cut off his connection to the physical plane violently and soon enough she was alone once more, heading to her room upset.

 

“M-Merlin?”

 

She frowned and turned around, seeing the little messenger boy Uther always used to call on her.

 

“What is it, Jacob?” she asked tiredly.

 

“H-His Majesty wishes to see you.”

 

She nodded and turned to head in the other direction from where she had been originally heading.

 

When she entered his room, she stared stoically at the quiet man. He didn’t say anything, didn’t look anything but tired. His emotions were completely wiped off his face.

 

“Are you going to lie down?” he asked, voice trembling.

 

His voice didn’t match his face.

 

“Uther, what’s wrong?” she asked softly, not letting anything seep into her voice.

 

“Just lie down,” he mumbled, eyes seemingly deadened.

 

Against her will, she began to feel worried. She complied reluctantly, lying down next to him. He was still sort of sitting up and staring forward, but she could feel him relax as soon as she settled down on her back.

 

“I ordered a bed like this for you,” he mumbled.

 

Surprised and confused, Merlin was going to keep quiet but changed her mind.

 

“That’s nice…Uther,” she sat up half-way, using her elbow to lean on and staring straight at him. “Please tell me what’s going on. You look a wreck. Frankly, you’re worrying me.”

 

Even more surprising than his behavior, was when he turned to her and practically fell on her, making her fall back onto her back. He was clutching onto her and shaking, but more than that –he was crying.

 

She couldn’t hear him and he wouldn’t make a sound. But she could feel the tears seeping into her shirt.

 

And then she remembered that she’d promised him her loyalty for as long as he was King, and she’d promised to be by his side during this whole thing.

 

So she whispered comforting words all night and held him, letting him cry on her.

 

The next day, they just lay on the bed the entire time. Uther was depressed, quiet, and at times he started crying again. And Merlin was going over her thoughts over and over again, feeling guilty at times and retrospective at others.

 

“We haven’t eaten all day,” she remarked without energy.

 

“Are you hungry? I’ll call someone up,” he muttered, still not getting up and away from her.

 

“…This is your time with Morgana. It’s dinner, Uther. If there was any time she would attempt to talk to you, it would be now in the dining hall.”

 

“I don’t want to speak to her.”

 

“Uther, please.”

 

Grudgingly, he moved away but didn’t start to get ready.

 

“You have to go eat. Go on now,” she encouraged him.

 

“Come with me,” he looked over his shoulder to her.

 

“What?” she asked in confusion.

 

“I’ll go there on the condition you join me.”

 

She hesitated, but seeing that he didn’t seem like he was going to give up, she nodded.

 

“You could wear one of my old outfits when I was a prince,” he said, immediately getting up and fishing for it through his wardrobe. Once he had it, he threw it at her, where she had no choice but to catch it.

 

“Uther, should I really be wearing something so extravagant? I’m supposed to be just a servant. Which is also odd to make me dine with you.”

 

Uther shrugged half-heartedly, “Then I will say that I dine with who I choose to, and I won’t dine with someone looking like a vagabond. Go change, I will grab my clothing and go to the adjoining bathroom.”

 

When both were finished, she was dressed up in his old clothing and he came out to see her. A small smirk tugged at his lips, but he hid it.

 

“You look like a pretty boy.”

 

She glowered at him, but he just laughed.

 

“You looked pretty with your servant clothing before, but it’s more obvious now with you wearing a prince’s outfit. Now, men usually cut their hair, but the ones who actually have long hair (most like rich, snobby noblemen) tie it back, usually with a leather thong,” he took a brush and began brushing her hair back, tying it at the base of her neck with the leather tie he’d found.

 

“Come. Suddenly, I’m very hungry,” he said cheerfully, ignoring her glare as he led the way.

 

Midway through their meal, Morgana walked through the doors solemnly, though Merlin could see the quick flash of anger that ran through her eyes before it disappeared. But the surprise at seeing Merlin was easier to see, though Morgana composed herself quickly.

 

In that second, she felt torn again, wanting to reach out to Morgana and offer comfort. And then she looked back at Uther and remembered all of that day and the night before, and steeled herself, sitting calmly by Uther’s side.

 

“I didn’t expect to see you. Do you need to say something?” Uther asked, slightly coldly.

 

“I came to apologize, milord,” Morgana’s eyes were already tearing up, but she could tell these were more angry and bitter tears.

 

“Good.”

 

A quick look of indignation was on Morgana’s face before she wiped it clean.

 

“I didn’t mean to rile you,” the apology hardly seemed real, as Merlin could see that already Morgana was working herself up and was starting to sound upset. “I thought only of Gwen. Poor girl’s all alone now.”

 

“It was not my intention to hurt your maid,” Uther stiffened up, a little guilt creeping in as well as remorse.

 

“I know. But now she suffers…and I know how she suffers.”

 

“Morgana –” Uther was cut off, when Morgana’s first emotional outburst for then shocked Merlin. But she had already been told of this, back when Edwin had first come into their lives…and when the sorcerer had still been alive.

 

“I only meant, I know how it is like to lose a father,” obvious blame and resentment could be heard clearly towards Uther.

 

“That was a terrible day. Your father was a great friend. I had no part in his death,” Uther gritted out painfully, though Merlin could tell that there was a feeling of self-blame.

 

“You sent him into battle. You promised him reinforcements and then gave him none. You sent him to his death,” Morgana accused, her emotions heightening and her face starting to show how she really felt then.

 

“That is not true. It was never my intention –” Uther tried to get out, showing only to Merlin’s eyes that some part of him believed Morgana’s words.

 

“But it happened. And it keeps on happening.”

 

“Morgana…” Uther looked at her in shock and pain.

 

“I’m sorry, milord,” Morgana threw out the apology, turning quickly and fleeing, with tears starting to come down her face.

 

Uther stared after her.

 

Merlin took one more bite of the pie and set down her spoon, getting up and starting to walk away.

 

“M-Merlin?” Uther gasped out, and she felt just a little guilty about leaving him like this.

 

“Gaius is going to start getting suspicious if I keep sleeping in your bed. My room’s open if you need me,” she tossed over her shoulder, calmly walking away, although she felt anything but calm.

 

When she entered Gaius’ chambers, her uncle was shifting through his books.

 

“Gaius, what are you looking for?” Merlin raised an eyebrow at her grandfatherly figure.

 

“I misplaced some notes –what are you wearing, Merlin?” Gaius asked, cutting himself off as soon as he looked up and caught sight of her.

 

“Arthur’s playing dress up. Wanted to humiliate me by wanting to know how I’d look in his clothing and then have me walk around in it and have people staring at me. He was bored,” she easily lied, using a nonchalant voice.

 

“Be careful on things like that. Don’t want Arthur to find out that you’re actually a female,” Gaius warned, and Merlin’s mouth twitched.

 

Ah, irony loved her.

 

“Right. Anyway, do you think Uther’s a good King?” she asked bluntly from out of nowhere, startling Gaius.

 

“Uh…well, yes. Sometimes…Uther’s methods are a bit unsavory, but he’s brought peace to Camelot and has always looked after its people.”

 

“So he’s…good for the kingdom.”

 

Gaius studied her closely.

 

“Despite the King’s failings, he’s brought peace and prosperity to this land. Merlin…is there something you’re not telling me?”

 

Merlin shook her head. “No. Not now, Gaius. You have to trust me on this. I have to work this out myself.”

 

And there was one more person she needed to talk to before she could make up her mind.

 

“I do trust you, Merlin. Whatever it is, I trust you will make the right decision.”

 

Merlin nodded at him and then disappeared into her room.

 

Gaius sighed. “But where on earth have I seen that outfit before? It is very familiar…”

 

As Merlin finished getting ready for bed and had already slipped in, Gaius dead asleep by then, there was a soft knock on her door and then it opened slowly, admitting Uther’s uncharacteristically defeated figure.

 

“Your bed looks uncomfortable,” he commented without bite.

 

“But it’s a bed. Are you coming or not?”

 

He made his way to lay next to her, back to being the quiet Uther from that day and the night before.

 

“Morgana is planning your death,” Merlin murmured reluctantly.

 

“…I know,” his voice was muffled as he crushed his face to her pillow. “I think I had the idea in my head all along. I think I’ve always known some part of her resented me for her father’s death and…wished deep down for my own.”

 

Merlin threaded her hand through his hair.

 

“Everything will turn out fine. I promise.”

 

“Everyone hates me. It won’t be fine.”

 

“I don’t hate you,” Merlin surprised herself by saying, realizing it as truth. “And it’s not your job to be liked. Your job is to protect the kingdom. And that’s what you have been and trying to do. Most of your methods are right, sometimes you go too far.”

 

“Why not let Arthur be King now? He will be a far better King than I,” Uther stated miserably.

 

She tugged on his hair a little painfully.

 

“He’s not ready and he’s not prepared for that kind of responsibility right now. He’s brave, but he’s no experience or judgment. Don’t toss your son to the wolves just yet. He’s not ready to face them,” she remarked in good humor at the last part.

 

He didn’t answer back. He’d already fallen asleep.

 

A tick developed at her temple, and the hand that was threading through his hair jerked away and was about to hit him on his head when she reluctantly pulled it to a stop. As much as she’d like to hit him…he’s had a rough few days and was probably very tired. He deserved the rest.

 

“Enjoy your respite,” she muttered. “I’ll get you when you’re awake, jerk.”

 

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When dawn broke, Uther was the one waking her up.

 

“Breakfast and then you have to work for Arthur, remember?” he reminded her.

 

He was promptly socked painfully on his shoulder.

 

“That was for falling asleep when I was talking to you, trying to make you feel better,” she said without even opening her eyes.

 

“Ow,” he huffed, but didn’t get angry.

 

He tugged her out of bed and let her get ready before dragging her out, taking care not to wake Gaius, and hurrying her to the kitchens.

 

“We’re not exactly going to eat here, are we? What if the other servants see us?” she asked anxiously.

 

“Exactly. It’s risky so it’s fun. Besides, I need to feel light-hearted…especially to prepare me for later.”

 

She stopped him just as they were only a couple steps away from the door to the kitchens.

 

“What’s later?”

 

He looked away. “I’m…going to try to talk to Morgana. I need to.”

 

She looked at him for awhile, before changing suddenly, pushing herself forward and passed Uther with gusto.

 

Cheerfully, she said, “I wonder what do they have to eat? Mm, I hope they have leftover pie from last night. That was good.”

 

And he appreciated the front she put up for him, and the silent support.

 

Merlin did it resignedly, though it had more to do with the part she finally acknowledged the jealousy that even distant and not there, Morgana seemed still especially close to Uther.

 

When she saw Uther again later, as she was cleaning the stocks and he surprisingly deigned it important enough that he’d travel there to talk to her, she saw the morose look on his face.

 

“How’d it go?” she kept her voice bright and cheery.

 

“She’s planning my death.”

 

Her bright façade fell flat and she stared at him in shock.

 

Uther leaned against the stable door, burying his face into his leather-clad hands.

 

“I apologized for handling the situation with Tom insensitively, and outwardly she seemed accepting and forgiving. She wants us to visit her father’s grave as the sun is setting, as an attempt to bury the past. But I know in my heart that she was still plotting, and I know she still wishes for my death. In fact, even as we speak, I know she has snuck out to tell that sorcerer of the plan.”

 

“You won’t…go, right?”

 

Uther sighed, “I must. Even if it means my death, I cannot just continue to let Morgana feel this way. I have to do something.”

 

“Don’t go,” Merlin pleaded, suddenly feeling desperate and distraught, lunging forward and clutching onto his sleeve. “You’ll be killed!”

 

“I know.”

 

He turned and started to leave, but he paused.

 

“It would make me feel better if you were to come with me then. I would feel better knowing someone who cared was with me while I died.”

 

Frustrated, she glared fiercely at him. “Don’t say stupid crap like that, old man.”

 

To make her feel better, he changed his words. “It would make me feel better if you were to accompany me, so I know that –even with you in the shadows –I could feel your support and know you would be there to prevent my death.”

 

“Fine,” she snapped at him.

 

She stomped right past him, knowing she had a limited time to get ready.

 

After a quick bathe and change of clothing, she went to an empty room in the castle and summoned Edwin.

 

“I was wondering when you’d summon me again,” he drawled, though he winced. “That hurts, you know. Being cut off from this world so abruptly. I may not have a physical body, but I can still feel pain.”

 

She frowned at him, ignoring his comments.

 

“You have four hours to teach me how to perfect that technique you were working on before you died.”

 

He briefly looked surprised but intrigued, before a cruel smile played across his lips.

 

“Okay, fine. Let the torture begin.”

 

Sore and in pain, several hours later, she sought out Gwen for the final judgment. Looking fondly at Merlin and already blushing at the sight of her, Gwen welcomed her to her home.

 

“I won’t be long, Gwen. I just need to ask you something. If…something were to happen to Uther…you wouldn’t care, would you?”

 

Gwen grimaced but steely nodded. “I wish I wouldn’t wish such a horrible thing to anyone, but I have no feelings of attachment to the King. It would not make me sad if his death were to happen.”

 

“Would you let it happen though? Would you kill him?”

 

Horror-struck, Gwen vehemently shook her head. “Goodness, no! Either way, that would be murder. I couldn’t in good conscious cause someone’s death, indirectly of directly by my hands –even if that person was Uther Pendragon.”

 

Merlin sighed in relief and smiled softly at her friend, surprising Gwen by leaning forward and wrapping her fellow servant in a hug.

 

“Everything will be alright, Gwen. You’ll see. Your father is happy wherever he is, and he’ll always look after you from the heavens,” she murmured into Gwen’s ear, unknowingly causing the poor girl to turn a really bright red and for her to heat up from the words and the contact.

 

Instinctively, Gwen just launched herself forward and awkwardly kissed Merlin.

 

The sorceress sighed to herself in a different way. First Uther, then Morgana, and now Gwen. Why did she have the luck of being kissed by all the strangest of partners?

 

She wasn’t even going to include Arthur in that.

 

Standing there stiffly, but letting Gwen get her kiss (both Uther and Morgana did, Gwen might as well –it would be just another strange kiss she received from yet another person she didn’t feel that way about), she thought it was only fair anyway. Uther and Morgana got to kiss her, Gwen should be able to also. Gwen shouldn’t be left out, seeing as she also had feelings for Merlin just like Morgana did. No favoritism, no siree…

 

Damn, she must be messed up from Edwin’s training. Her mind was all over the place.

 

Fleeing at first chance, she got ready to follow Uther and Morgana. While the two went on horseback to the gravesite, she grimaced and ran after them.

 

They were ahead and already at the gravesite, and she was farther back, only just closing the distance. Letting magic temporarily replenish her energy and glad for its help in boosting her stamina and speed, she caught sight of the dead Camelot knights. So it had begun already.

 

Running up the upward climb, she saw the gaggle of sorcerers hanging around each other, starting to get into position and Tauren nowhere in sight. They saw her and each threw a spell at her, causing her to nimbly dodge each one. They surrounded her, readying for another attack and watching her warily. Pushing down her anxiety and worry, she used the full-body lightning flicker she had been working on with Edwin.

 

Her entire body crackled with lightning, pulsating once before she let go of the electrical energy into an electromagnetic pulse that erupted from her body and outwardly to the surrounding sorcerers, crashing into them and electrifying them on the spot.

 

She didn’t realize (although she really should have) that there were going to be repercussions.

 

“Shit.”

 

She blacked out.

 

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After sending an unsure and shaken Morgana ahead and pilfering through Tauren’s clothes for the Maidstone that Merlin had told him about, Uther hurried off to where he had glimpsed the flash of lightning of all things, right when Tauren had been struck down. In the middle of a circle of smoking bodies, Merlin lay sprawled on her back unconscious.

 

Scooping her up worriedly into his arms, he ran to where he left his horse, wincing at the dead bodies of the knights and seeing Morgana’s horse was already gone. He urged his horse into a fast-paced sprint, and soon enough they were in the castle.

 

Gaius would still be awake by now…He looked down at the dead to the world girl in his arms and decided that wasn’t going to be an issue. Merlin needed help.

 

Immediately heading to Gaius’ quarters, he was surprised to see his physician still not there. Setting her down on her bed, he tried to wake her up. Her eyelids fluttered open and she groaned.

 

“What happened?” he questioned, not bothering to hide his worry.

 

Merlin groaned again, “Several things. I used too much energy beforehand, learning the technique I was going to use to take out all the sorcerers and on magically enhancing myself on the way to the gravesite, and the fact I didn’t have a good enough grasp or barely any control over the technique.”

 

“What exactly was that technique you used?” Uther frowned at her.

 

“Can I explain that later? I-I can’t move,” she said with a wince.

 

“What do you mean you can’t move?!”

 

“I mean I’m paralyzed.”

 

“I know that! I meant how?!”

 

“I told you I didn’t have enough control and not enough energy. My lack of control must’ve let the electrical currents I harnessed from my bioelectricity to run wildly around my body, and damaged a lot of skin, muscles, and most importantly nerves. My nerve endings that should allow me to move have basically been short-circuited. Having not enough energy helped make my lack of control worse.”

 

“Don’t lecture me!” Uther started panicking. “I don’t even understand half the words you were using! Just tell me what to do to make it better.”

 

“Edwin predicted that this could potentially happen when he was developing this technique, so he developed an antidote to counteract the problem. He had always had just enough energy to brew it himself, using magic to help him since he couldn’t move, but I don’t have any energy at all to help me do that…so you’d…have to help me…make it,” she ended nervously.

 

“Okay, fine. Just tell me what to do already,” he snapped at her, worry overtaking his senses.

 

Surprised, she nodded. “Uther, I’m asking you to do magic for me. You know that, right?”

 

“You need my help. So I’ll help,” Uther explained simply.

 

“Over there. Edwin’s notes are there. I’ll tell you where everything is in Gaius’ storage.”

 

So Uther set to work, trying to make the potion. He finished it perfectly on the first try.

 

While Merlin lay there, waiting for the time to pass and for it to slowly work, he sat next to her quietly, holding her hand while in thought.

 

“Morgana and I have made up.”

 

“That’s good.”

 

“…For the time being,” Uther said quietly. “I love Morgana and am happy things have ended the way they did for her and I today…but I fear that I must look behind my back when it comes to her for now on. I love her closely, but I do not think I can trust her. And deep inside, I feel that she might once again feel the need to plot against me or even seek my death once more. Even if it’s unfounded, I cannot erase the feelings that have been seeded and grown in my heart and mind.”

 

“Oh, Uther…”

 

“You seem to be the only one I can trust and rely on, not even Gaius, Arthur, or Morgana. And once upon a time, I would have immediately had you executed on the spot after learning what you are. I find the irony amusing and yet grim. But I don’t regret it. I wouldn’t trade Arthur for the world, and yet I remember how the entire kingdom wished for a boy so that the throne may have an heir…but Ingraine and I had secretly wished for a daughter. I’d wanted to protect and cherish my little girl, dote on her and be her protector.

 

“Morgana is like a daughter to me…but you…you are.”

 

Merlin could already feel the embarrassing tears prickling at her eyes, and after feeling her body responding again, the first thing she did was throw herself at Uther and clutched onto him, crying into his shirt.