Dreamcatcher

 

Merlin shifted restlessly in Arthur’s arms, slowly wriggling out of sleep. A feeling of something wrong was starting to bother her into wakefulness. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and she slid harshly from Arthur’s arms, running barefoot out of his room and through the stone halls of the castle. Arthur had been startled out of sleep because of her, but took a moment longer before he fully woke up and realized she’d run and then for him to run after her.

 

When he caught up, Merlin was in Morgana’s room, putting out the fire that had consumed that part of the area. Morgana stopped screaming a little after he arrived, not paying attention to him and continuing to watch Merlin. Guards came and soon enough, Uther had arrived as well.

 

“What’s going on here?” he shouted.

 

Merlin didn’t say anything, stony-faced as Arthur just looked confused and Morgana was still quietly crying.

 

“Well?” Uther demanded.

 

Morgana finally spoke, sniffling. “I woke up and my room was on fire. A candle must have fallen and the curtains were lit.”

 

“Or lightning struck the tower,” Merlin interrupted, tone neutral. “The window’s been burst open. Perhaps the lightning struck too close to the window and shattered it, along with striking the curtains.”

 

The guards were murmuring to each other, finding the explanation acceptable. Arthur didn’t find anything suspicious with it either, though he found it odd that Merlin had somehow managed to wake up and come here in time. Uther, however, was studying her closely, eyes narrowed. She gave an imperceptible nod.

 

“Very well. Let us sleep the night and come back to this in the morning. Morgana, perhaps you can sleep in Arthur’s rooms…just in case this was an attack,” Uther’s suggestion put everyone on edge and Merlin could see Morgana stiffening up.

 

She frowned inwardly to herself, making sure not to show any emotion outside.

 

When everyone departed, Arthur glancing back at her in worry, it left only her and Uther in the room.

 

“What really happened?” Uther asked, scowling around the room. “Was it sorcery? Did you sense someone here?”

 

Merlin sighed, avoiding looking at him. He noted the action. “I did sense something and it was what woke me up and allowed me to get here before too much damage could be done…But I saw what was happening. In my dream.”

 

He looked at her curiously, stopping his angry observation of the room.

 

“A dream? Was it one of your prophetic dreams?”

 

She winced. “A bit, only it was happening at the same time…”

 

“Well, what happened?”

 

This time, Merlin looked straight at him seriously. “You don’t want to know, Uther.”

 

He was taken aback. “I don’t? Of course I do. Stop that nonsense, Merlin, and tell me what the devil actually happened.”

 

“Have you…have you ever had any suspicions about Morgana?” she hesitantly ventured.

 

Uther glowered at the floor, speaking with a bitter tone that seemed permanently attached to him when speaking of Morgana. “You mean the ones of her plotting my death? Or the sympathies she has with magic-users?”

 

When she didn’t answer, Uther looked up in surprise and saw her looking at him solemnly.

 

“Try a step further,” she told him gently.

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to work out her meaning. She could see him slowly coming to an understanding, before staring at her in horror.

 

“No…just no. That cannot be –”

 

She sighed tiredly and started to walk passed him, grasping his shoulder comfortingly.

 

“Tomorrow, Uther. Sleep tonight and just think tomorrow.”

 

She did not relish revealing Morgana might have magic to him, especially knowing he still cared for the other female greatly. Although, on her part, she actually knew the Lady had magic without question. For now, at least, she could allow Uther a little doubt.

 

The next morning, there was a slightly smaller congregation in the room. Uther was interrogating Gwen about the candles in the room, with Arthur backing her up.

 

“She could’ve been burnt alive,” Uther said, glancing at the blackened area. A quick look to Merlin for his thanks before he went back to looking around the room and getting to the bottom of things.

 

“As was said, lightning struck the castle roof last night, that could’ve started the fire,” Arthur said, bringing up Merlin’s explanation. “One particular strike could very well have been dangerously close to Morgana’s room.”

 

“Perhaps,” Uther said softly.

 

“What other explanation is there?” Arthur asked in confusion.

 

“Someone started the fire deliberately.”

 

Gwen let out a small gasp, but Merlin gave off no reaction. Inwardly, she sighed and winced. So, Uther was going into denial, was he? It seemed he was going to refuse to see Morgana as a witch.

 

“Gwen, can you look after Morgana and make sure she’s alright?” Arthur asked the servant girl.

 

“Merlin, carry this,” Uther tossed his sheathed sword to her. “Follow us.”

 

“Yeah and carry this,” Arthur took off his jacket and tossed it to her.

 

She refrained from rolling her eyes at the obvious excuses they were using to have her follow them, and not look suspicious to everyone else. They were King and Prince. It was practically mandatory she follow them anyways.

 

Then again, she wasn’t like most servants and most servants didn’t tend to follow around their masters and mistresses everywhere, like she did.

 

“How did they reach Morgana’s chambers unchallenged?” Uther asked, glancing behind him to make sure Merlin was following and that she was listening in and hopefully taking mental notes.

“I don’t know. There are too many guards. It shouldn’t be possible,” Arthur frowned.

 

“And yet they managed to do so,” Uther growled.

“I can’t explain it,” the blond almost shrugged, but stopped halfway.

“Well I can. They used magic. Arrest all those we have under suspicion,” the King ordered.

 

Merlin flinched and stopped short, staring at Uther’s back.

“That’s gonna take time,” Arthur tried to tell his father.

 

Uther stopped in the middle of the hallway, putting his face right up to Arthur’s.

“My ward has been attacked. Time is something we do not have.”

 

Merlin cleared her throat, bringing the attention to her.

 

“I’m sorry, milords, but I’ve forgotten the laundry. I’ll go check on it now. You can send me to the stocks later!” she said as she turned and practically ran away, having not even been able to summon her usual ‘idiot’ voice for the act.

 

She missed their worried looks.

 

Later, as she frantically started doing and then redoing Arthur’s bed over and over, she was interrupted from her thoughts.

 

“I don’t think I’m quite sure of how many times you’ve done that,” Arthur’s unsure voice spoke up and she whirled from the bed to face him, watching her from the door.

 

She looked away from him, averting her eyes to the window.

 

He came over to her and pulled her to him, and she let her weight sag against him.

 

“Merlin…what’s wrong?”

 

She felt for the bed and sank into it, before glancing at him under hooded eyes.

 

“It’s…nothing.”

 

Arthur scowled at her, but she spoke again. “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Try me,” he said wryly, giving her a look.

 

He rubbed her arms up and down comfortingly and she relented a little.

 

“I’m worried about your father,” she admitted.

 

And yet, she didn’t know if she was worried about Uther, for Uther…or because of Uther. Her thoughts and emotions were a mess.

 

Arthur hmmed in thought. “Perhaps you should go talk to him then. You have the perfect excuse –you still have his sword.”

 

Arthur grinned down at her as she blushed.

 

“Right. Okay…I’ll do that later. Thank you, Arthur,” she kissed him briefly, smiling to herself as she darted out of his reach and ran out the door, grabbing Uther’s sword while she was at it.

 

“Tease!” he hollered after her good-naturedly.

 

She headed to Gaius’ first, and stopped in her tracks as she listened uneasily to the private conversation between Gaius and Morgana. Her suspicions, at least, were confirmed. Her dream of last night had been true. Morgana was responsible for the fire and seemed to have some magical talent, though Gaius for some reason was denying it.

 

She waited until Morgana had been gone awhile before entering Gaius’ quarters, taking a seat as Gaius started making a potion.

 

“I was helping clean up Morgana’s room earlier,” she started out.

 

“Hmm?” Gaius hadn’t even bothered to look in her direction.

“The window was blown out into the courtyard below,” Merlin kept going.

“Hmm.” Oh, he was definitely ignoring her prodding now.

“It’s odd, isn’t it? If lightning struck the window like Arthur said, you’d think the glass would’ve fallen inside of the window. It was magic. You know it was. More importantly, so does she,” Merlin cut to the chase.

Gaius paused in his brewing. “Morgana knows nothing for certain. And it is, as you said, lightning could have struck close to the window or even directly at it, which makes more sense for the window to have been burst into the room…unless the lightning came from above and ran a current downwards that would have led to her window.”

 

Merlin glowered, very much like Uther the night before. “Which makes it even worse. She isn’t sure what’s happening to her and it’s tearing her apart. And all of the glass would not have ended onto the courtyard –her room is high up. The glass would have landed on the slants of the roof, or at least most of it. Only some shards could have landed down below.”

This time, Gaius stopped and turned to her, giving into both arguments. “What would you have me do?”

“Talk to her. Tell her she’ll be ok. Tell her that her powers aren’t something to be afraid of,” she insisted.

“I can’t,” Gaius stubbornly said.

“Maybe I could speak to her,” she suggested and Gaius recoiled from the suggestion like it had been a snake.

“No, Merlin, you can’t.”

“Why not? I understand what she’s going through,” she became as stubborn as he.

“You must never reveal your secret. Not to anyone.”

“Uther already knows. At least –if not me, then someone else,” she kept at it.

“Who? This is a kingdom where magic is outlawed, or have you forgotten that? And Uther will be seen as a hypocrite for harboring a magic-user –it’ll be chaos asunder, even if it is the Lady Morgana! And that is nothing to say of him and yourself, and if that ever got found out –you he actually knew about!”

 

“There are those who still practice it. What about the druids? You said that they help people like this,” she refused to give up, though it looked like it was going to be hopeless against Gaius.

“Uther’s vowed to destroy them. The druids cannot help her. It would be suicide,” he said firmly, and she reluctantly knew that was true.

“Then who can?” she became desperate for him to give her an answer that hopefully could calm her mind and some problems that hadn’t to do with Morgana (at least in part). They were issues she had been trying to ignore since last night, and especially that morning, and had vehemently pushed aside and pretended hadn’t existed. But they were there…

“I will. Like I’ve always done,” but she hadn’t been given that satisfactory answer she needed. Nothing that answered Morgana’s, much less her problems.

“Then you need to be honest with her,” is what she answered instead.

“What makes you so certain that you know better than me?” Gaius gave her a disgruntled look.

“Because I went through the same thing. I know exactly how she’s feeling right now,” Merlin glared back.

“You cannot get involved in this. No good can come of it. I mean it, Merlin. Stay out of it!”

 

Merlin huffed and didn’t say anything else, huffily going back to polishing Uther’s sword. Gaius glanced at it and then her, raising an eyebrow in amusement, and she just started polishing it even more vigorously.

 

When she was done with that, she picked some flowers and made a bouquet, deciding to head over to Morgana’s with her gift now. Her room should be fixed up by then…

 

On the way there, she was caught by Arthur, who looked at the flowers she held with raised eyebrows.

 

“Oh, are those for me?” he waggled those very same eyebrows at her. “I admit, it’s very unusual for the girl to give the guy flowers, but –”

 

She gave him the ‘don’t be stupid’ look and he pouted.

 

“It’s for Morgana,” she said shortly.

 

He looked at her in surprise, and just the slightest of jealousy, even though he knew it was unfounded.

 

“So then you really do like women, my love,” he pouted harder, before he leaned towards her for a kiss.

 

He missed and he opened his eyes in surprise, seeing Merlin farther away from him and looking around nervously.

 

“Mer –”

 

“Arthur, you can’t do that,” she said urgently. “We’re in open space,” she said, as if that would explain everything.

 

Unfortunately it did, and Arthur reluctantly nodded. He told himself to be patient and to bide his time. Soon. Soon…

 

Damn it all, his father approved –who the hell cares about everyone else and their opinions? Especially since his father, again with the emphasis on that, approved and he would have thought his father would be the first to object, had it not been for this secret little alliance he and Merlin seemed to have. And hell, if the King approved, his opinion would be the only one that mattered anyways.

 

“I’ll see you later,” she murmured, brushing passed him purposely, letting her hand briefly touch his before she was as gone as her touch had been.

 

Arthur sighed to himself.

 

Merlin, after that, made her brief visit to Morgana’s chambers to drop off the flowers and inquire after her. Then, with a more hesitant preamble, she went straight to Uther’s with the intention of only returning his sword.

 

But when she got there, she froze and was unable to do just that. Instead, she stared at him.

 

“Room’s always been more comfortable to do paperwork in,” Uther said suddenly, not looking up from his work and having caught her quiet entrance, even though she hadn’t made a noise.

 

She had wanted to be a coward and drop off the sword before running away as if she had never been there.

 

“I’ve been doing it a lot more in here, since you’ve come into the kingdom,” he noted. “Is that my sword you ran off with? Come to return it then?”

 

Merlin silently came over and handed it to him.

 

“Polished perfectly,” he remarked in amusement, smiling softly. “I can even see my reflection clearly.”

 

And yet she stayed silent. His smile died down and he watched her warily, hiding his worry.

 

“Speak your thoughts freely,” he assented.

 

She looked away, and she knew that everyone seemed to be doing that a lot since Morgana’s troubled night.

 

“You would not like what I have to say.”

 

“How would you know? You have not spoken.”

 

They traded stares, before Merlin broke away first.

 

“I know because I know you,” she said calmly, which was far from what she really felt.

 

Uther watched her for a moment. “That you do. I bid you to speak still, however.”

 

“Morgana is a witch, or has great potential for magic. There is no if, or, or buts about it. She went from having powerful visions as nightmares at night –to going beyond being a seer and potentially utilizing magic. Her dream last night caused her to awaken frightfully, stirring up the magic deep in her, to lash out and make the flame from a candle flare up and catch the curtain –before she managed to shatter her window outwards.”

 

Uther went silent as well before he gazed out his window.

 

“I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no evil,” he murmured and she flinched.

 

“To which interpretation am I supposed to look to?” she said, voice not meaning to be bitter but ending up as.

 

Uther blinked in surprise before looking at her in apprehension.

 

Wearily, he spoke to her. “If I don’t acknowledge it, such evil, such blasphemy will not spread. The old proverb says ‘Do not listen to evil things so they do not influence you. Do not read things that are evil or look upon evil things so they do not influence you, and lastly do not repeat verbally evil things so they cannot be spread about.’ I cannot see Morgana a witch, and so I won’t be influenced by such thoughts and reflect it. We will be spared of evil –of magic in this case.”

 

“Or see the adage as what everyone usually sees it as now –to look the other way from impropriety, feigning ignorance of such things. Turning a blind eye,” Merlin said stoically.

 

“Yes, I know you think that is what I am doing,” Uther frowned.

 

“Isn’t it?” she said testily.

 

“Perhaps,” he murmured.

 

Merlin pressed her lips into a hard line. “You cannot see her a witch, but it is cold, hard fact that Morgana is magic. There is no sparing of it. You cannot be spared of it. So will you now turn a blind eye to her?”

 

“Don’t advise me now, Merlin. Not right now…not on this. I can’t…” Uther grimaced.

 

“Will you?” she insisted.

 

“As I do you?” he clenched her jaw.

 

“Why use ‘evil’? Why that choice of word?” she reluctantly switched. “Do you still see magic as evil, despite all that I have done to persuade you otherwise?”

 

Uther gazed down at his hands, not answering her. She was about to speak out again, her patience waning, when he started to give her his reply.

 

“If Morgana has magic…and her potential is as great as you claim…does that not worry you?”

 

Merlin became confused, looking at him in question.

 

“I did not start this war on magic, as Nimueh had claimed. It had long started before I became King. As Gaius has told you, there were plagues of sorcerers and the truth was, most of them used their craft for dark deeds. In that time, I was friends with Nimueh and trusted her so. I did not hate magic. It was after becoming King and marrying Ingraine that things began to change. It was sometime after that I was pressured to uphold my duty to provide an heir to the throne. Ingraine and I tried, as I have told you…and we soon learned she was barren. We went to Nimueh. She was our friend. She would help us.

 

“She did not tell us everything. She only said there were grave consequences to be beheld, but both Ingraine and I had made the decision to go through with it. When Ingraine died in consequence, I became blinded by grief and rage. That is when I started to hate magic, and I started The Great Purge.”

 

“And ended the war on magic by being the forceful hand that tipped the scales,” she whispered.

 

“Yes. But then, as I realize now, that I went too far afterwards. I kept going, even though the war was over. I gave no chance to any other magic-users. They were all like Nimueh, in my mind. Treacherous, all of them. I am only glad that at least she only came to have the power to choose whose death now, than when she gave us the choice then. Such another layer of betrayal…and the lie…would have made my wrath beyond redemption.”

 

Merlin reserved to keep her thoughts on the matter quiet. She did not want to be the one to reveal to him that perhaps Nimueh had always had the ability to choose. She’d harbored these notions for a long time, even before she’d offered her life for Arthur’s when he’d been bitten by the Questing Beast. Such a power does not come from the sorceress or sorcerer gaining more power, but as a High Priestess or High Priest of the Old Religion. It is gifted by the Old Religion, as part of the ability of mastering life and death, and so the choice to be made is made by the one to perform the rite.

 

Nimueh had lied to all. She’d chosen Ingraine. And Merlin didn’t want to contemplate why, considering that if the High Priestesses and High Priests of the Old Religion truly were able to see into the future…if Nimueh had chosen Ingraine and purposefully set out to allow for The Great Purge and a future of the Once and Future King and a united Albion…

 

All those deaths would have been more Nimueh’s fault. She wanted this future, even at the costs of the others, at the costs of Uther’s pain and the death of the one she dared called friend Ingraine.

 

She wouldn’t tell Uther then and she won’t tell him now, knowing it would only enrage and embitter and aggrieve him to learn the truth. But she couldn’t help wondering if he would feel betrayed and angry if he ever found out she’d kept such a thing from him…

 

“Back then, there were scores of dark magic being used, Merlin. This is not an exaggeration. Power corrupts, no matter in what form –through magic or the stations of nobles. Many people were swayed through magic into abusing such power because they couldn’t resist the allure of having it and using it against others. I love Morgana, but I feel dread that there is more than a possibility that she will be corrupted and use her power for evil,” Uther admitted.

 

Merlin recoiled. “No! You mustn’t think that! I promise you, that I will do everything in my power to make sure she is well and supported, Uther. She would never go that path anyways. Not with me and you here.”

 

And yet, why was Uther still looking serious?

 

“Merlin…Darling…if the Old Religion must maintain a balance…where will Morgana fit in this world where there aren’t many powerful magic-users left? If you are, at the end of it all and as hinted of the future, the most powerful sorceress there is –where does that fit Morgana, who you say has great potential?”

 

Merlin stared. This was not something she’d thought about or even considered at all. That Uther…

 

Uther looked mournfully at her. “If you are the most powerful beacon to the light, then I fear for this balance that Morgana will be your equal in darkness.”

 

Merlin almost blanched, but withheld it for his sake. “You don’t know that, Uther.”

 

“Morgana does not have your temperament. She holds so much anger and hate in her, and I know I am partly to blame. And if she had suspected magic of herself before, living in fear of me would not have helped. All these strong and negative emotions she would not be able to handle and it will lead her astray –not like you, Merlin. She’s not like you, Merlin. She will not be able to handle such power, not with all those feelings being held inside of her.”

 

Merlin swallowed heavily and sat down next to Uther, almost dazed.

 

“I worry about you,” she confessed. “I worry how you would take Morgana possessing magic. You are still new to reaccepting magic again and I don’t know how you would handle this. And now I worry about how long have you been worrying about this balance and Morgana’s potential corruption, and I’m not too sure how or what I can do to ease your mind about this.

 

“And I worry about Morgana too. She’s alone and scared and probably confused. I don’t want her to feel like that. I understand. I was like that too. I had my mother, but it was mostly keep my head down and don’t get caught doing it or else I might get killed. And there was Sigan, but I don’t even want to get into that. I doubt it was healthy having a dark sorcerer attached to your soul and haunting you, trying to groom you to take over the world. But then I came here and I had Gaius and I even had you. At least, I want to be there for Morgana…”

 

Suddenly, she felt him take her hand and squeeze comfortingly and she broke out of her thoughts and looked at him, smiling at her gratefully. She gave a weak smile back.

 

“That would reassure and make me happy for Morgana to have you there for her, despite my misgivings about her powers. Though…you worry still that I continue to hate magic and that even now, you would not be safe,” he caught the last of the worries she’d been plagued with.

 

She looked away from him, but he took the hand he had of hers and brought it to his lips, kissing it fondly.

 

“Never.”

 

Her smile strengthened slightly.

 

However, she would not admit that the real last of her worries was that she couldn’t help feeling jealous of Uther and Morgana’s relationship, no matter how perpetually strained, and of his strong feelings for his ward.

 

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Merlin sighed as she tinkered around and cleaned up, but was caught off guard when Morgana rushed into Gaius’ chambers, hysterical and almost erratic.

“Is Gaius here?” Morgana burst out, looking very teary.

“Er, no he’s not here at the moment. He should be back soon though,” Merlin answered awkwardly, trying to quickly figure out how to handle this situation.

“I need to speak to him. Where is he?” the King’s ward persisted.

“He’s gone to see the King. What’s wrong? You can trust me, Morgana. You know you can,” Merlin decided now was as gone a time as any to try to reach out to Morgana.

“I’m scared, Merlin. I don’t understand anything anymore. I need to know what’s happening. Please,” Morgana begged her desperately.

Merlin inwardly faltered. “Gaius will be back soon. He’ll be able to help you.”

 

Maybe Uther and Gaius were right…

“He won’t. I don’t want any more remedies. They won’t do me any good. It’s magic, Merlin,” Morgana burst out and Merlin scrambled through her brain on what she was supposed to do.

 

She hadn’t thought this through enough.
 

“What?” Merlin stalled as she kept trying to think about her next move.

“I’m your friend, you know I wouldn’t make this up,” Morgana pleaded, mistakenly believing Merlin was in disbelief.

“Of course,” she tried to reassure the other female.

“Then you believe me? You think it’s magic too. Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don’t have to keep feeling like I’m imagining it.”

Merlin inwardly closed her eyes and prayed for forgiveness. To who, she didn’t quite know. To Morgana…to Uther…to some meaningless deity from above…

 

“I really wish there was something I could say,” Merlin finally answered.

 

Morgana started to back away, eyes finally letting go of her tears.

“Morgana. Morgana. Wait,” Merlin gritted her teeth.

 

Just when the Lady started to leave, Merlin gave in and decided her original decision was better.

 

“Morgana!” and just as Morgana had reached the door, Merlin reached out with her hand and the door slammed closed.

 

Morgana’s eyes widened at the closed door before she whirled around to face Merlin, whose golden eyes were fading away to blue.

 

“You…you…”

 

“Used magic,” Merlin finished off softly. “Come here, Morgana. We will talk tomorrow. Tonight, I will make sure the dreams stay away. As much as I can.”

 

“Like before,” Morgana gave her a watery smile, visibly calming down.

 

Merlin’s outstretched hand gestured to Morgana and waited, and the other female came over and hesitantly took her hand. Merlin gently took her and brought her closer, leading her to her room.

 

“You have always been so gentle and kind with me, Merlin,” Morgana murmured.

 

“But of course, milady. Be calm and at rest. Nothing will plague you tonight.”

 

Merlin made sure to have Morgana comfortable and settled in quickly, soothing her and bringing her to sleep. She waited awhile, making sure Morgana was asleep, before she snuck out and searched out the Great Dragon.

 

Her talk with it was not a very happy or useful one.

 

It was also a talk that made her wary and upset, for now even the Great Dragon spoke against her friend. It made her worry and remember Uther’s uneasiness, and wonder if she was doing the right thing with Morgana…

 

The next morning, she spoke at great length with Morgana in her room, where no one could disturb them. She answered all of the eager Morgana’s questions, explaining what she could and revealing some of the things that had truly happened in the past, with the exception of Uther’s involvement. Merlin was not sure how Morgana would take that, and had a feeling the other female would be indignant and likely to reveal it to the whole of Camelot with her temperament.

 

Hot-headed Morgana and the Pendragon men were…and rash and impulsive and hasty and reckless…

 

Merlin could go on about this bloody family.

 

Whatever Morgana wanted to know, Merlin did her best to answer. She spoke of her own life in Ealdor and of hiding her magic here in Camelot, along with using it to protect it and especially Arthur.

 

“And he’s so ungrateful,” Morgana scoffed. “He has no idea what you’ve done for him, my dear sweet Merlin.”

 

Merlin gave a helpless shrug Morgana tittered in amusement at.

 

“And all this time…it must’ve been hard having to hide your magic, all the while saving that prat and this kingdom over and over again. That isn’t even to mention having to hide from Uther from under his nose and having to be in fear of being found out, even though all you’ve done is be loyal and save everyone! Oh, you are so underappreciated, Merlin!”

 

Still, it felt kind of good to get the credit and have someone else acknowledge what she’s done for once.

 

“Morgana, I think you seeing and talking to the druids might help,” Merlin had decided that last night and was why she’d gone to see the dragon. “I will always be available to you, but they might be able to tell you more than I can.”

 

Morgana hesitated, but nodded in acquiesce. Then she leaned towards Merlin and hugged her, and Merlin, after an awkward pause, embraced her back in comfort.

 

Morgana may know she had magic, but she was still under the impression Merlin was male.

 

Merlin would have to find a way to break the news to her.

 

After escorting Morgana back to her room, she quickly did the chores she had to do for Arthur, leaving behind a little gift, and then heading over to Uther’s for a late report.

 

Uther raised an eyebrow at her. “Missed our breakfast and never came in early for a report. I was getting worried about you…”

 

Merlin looked at him gravely. “Morgana had another dream and barged into Gaius’ quarters last night. She was hysterical and believed she had magic…so I confronted her and admitted to my own.”

 

Uther’s face blanked out and he sort of quieted and visibly became eerily calm.

 

“I see,” the King finally said. “Well, at least Morgana does not have to feel alone. I wish you hadn’t needed to reveal yourself, but I trust you will be careful and serious about this?”

 

Merlin nodded.

 

“Then what is it have you chosen to do next?”

 

“I believe Morgana should contact the druids. What is happening to her might be better explained by them. I would be better in emotional support, teaching her control of her magic and how to use it. They could give her the explanations that I am lacking, especially as I neither had anyone to explain my own gifts correctly,” Merlin told him.

 

“I see,” Uther said again, quieter. “That scroll has all the names of people that are associated with magic-users, or rather suspected of. Look through it –there may be one who is in contact with the druids.”

 

Merlin gave him a half-smile before she did so and then departed from the King’s chambers.

 

Meanwhile, Arthur had caught sight of the flowers Merlin had left for him and smiled widely at them. He grinned wider at the note attached.

 

There. Your flowers, prat. Now stop being jealous.

 

“That’s my girl,” he crowed happily.

 

He then placed his new vase of flowers next to his window to be on display and easily seen. He whistled as he walked out of his room and went back to his duties, hoping he’d catch Merlin and force her to tagalong with him for the whole day.

 

But what he wanted and what actually happened for the day didn’t coincide.

 

He ended up with a scroll tossed at his head by his father, forced to go out to arrest people, and then didn’t get to see Merlin at all that day. Or night either. She’s at least supposed to come in then, kiss him and cuddle for a bit. But no Merlin for some reason…

 

However, Merlin was just getting ready to go to bed when there was a knock on her door. She answered it in confusion, only to see Gwen.

 

Gwen smiled at her hesitantly, so she returned the smile with a stronger one to reassure the other girl.

 

“Sorry to keep you, Merlin. It’s just that Morgana asked that I come here to request if you’d stay the night in her rooms, keep the nightmares at bay,” she could tell Gwen was confused, but Merlin merely deflected it with some vague words.

 

Though, she had meant to sleep with Arthur tonight to make up for not seeing him that day and for being unable to continue to sleep with him the night of Morgana’s first incident. Still, Morgana needed her.

 

“Of course, Gwen. I’ll be right there. Why don’t you go to bed? It’s late and I can make it to Morgana’s without any trouble.”

 

Gwen agreed and Merlin hurried getting ready for bed in a more male attire, and then traversed out, sleepily making her way to Morgana’s. The door immediately opened to her and Morgana waited anxiously on the other side of it.

 

“Thank you for coming, Merlin,” Morgana smiled tiredly. “I’m afraid of going to sleep, at least without you there.”

 

“It’s no problem, Morgana. However I can help,” she assured her. “I just want to suggest that we leave at early morn, before anyone’s awake. I’ll lead you to where the druids are and I must come back to act as if nothing had happened. Also, I have brought your sleeping draught as well,” she held up the bottle.

 

“I don’t need it, I think. As long as you’re here,” Morgana clung tightly to her and Merlin tried to make sure she didn’t act too awkward.

 

The next day, the warning bells echoed and Merlin stared sorrowfully out of her window and into the horizon.

 

Sometime later, Gaius grabbed Merlin’s shoulder and held up the potion bottle.

“I didn’t ask you to take this to Morgana last night.”

“I used some initiative, I thought you’d be pleased,” Merlin said stoically.

“Those warning bells are ringing because Uther thinks that Morgana’s been kidnapped. And you don’t seem overly concerned,” Gaius glared at her knowingly.

“She can look after herself,” Merlin glared back.

 

They held a glaring contest for a few more seconds.

“Merlin, what have you done?” Gaius shook his head.

“What you refused to. I helped her,” Merlin declared stubbornly.

“This ends now. People’s lives are at risk, Morgana’s included. Where is she?” Gaius pushed.

“She’s gone to the Forest of Essetir to find the druids,” she reluctantly admitted.

“I told you not to get involved,” Gaius almost started to pull at his hair.

“I had to because you wouldn’t even acknowledge she had magic,” Merlin hissed in aggravation.

“For good reason,” Gaius glowered at her.

“No. You don’t understand. You don’t understand what it’s like. The years before I came here were the loneliest of my life,” Merlin very nearly shouted, but she was getting very frustrated and admitted that her eyes were stinging and feeling like she wanted to cry suddenly.

“Morgana is the King’s ward. Her situation is completely different to yours,” he spoke with her in a short tone.

“I know. I’ve got you, she hasn’t,” she softened though.

“I’ve always taken good care of Morgana,” her uncle sighed, looking very tired.

 

“It is not the same. Everything that’s good and right about magic I’ve learnt from you. I’d be lost without you, Gaius. Like she is now. Do you understand why I did it?” Merlin tried to get him to see it from her side one last time.

“Yes, I do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t fear the consequences,” Gaius said solemnly, and she started to feel the feeling of foreboding again about Morgana.

 

Later that night, after spending some time with an unhappy and tired Arthur (who was also reluctant to admit he was worried about where Morgana had gone), she went to Uther’s chambers for her nightly report. She saw him pacing in front of his fireplace and she waited to be acknowledged, knowing he probably already sensed her entrance.

 

“Where is she?”

 

“The Forest of Essetir. To see the druids.”

 

“…”

 

“Executions?”

 

Uther whirled from the fireplace and reluctantly glared at her.

 

“Everyone was arrested. And they will be executed. Should I do so differently?”

 

“They have nothing to do with this, Uther,” she whispered, looking at the floor.

 

“No, they don’t. But what will the council and everyone say if I say or do nothing, when Morgana is missing? What is my normal reaction?” Uther yelled at her, before rapidly whirling around and slamming his fist against the fireplace.

 

She flinched, even more when he muffled his yell of pain into arm.

 

She gulped and tried to blink away her tears as she quietly walked over to him and gently grabbed his injured hand, starting to heal it.

 

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this and forcing you to become even more a hypocrite against your will, and not giving you a choice in the matter,” she murmured.

 

His healed hand moved from her hands, softly wiping away the tears clinging to her eyes.

 

“Take care of Morgana when you retrieve her, won’t you? And be careful,” he ran a hand through her hair comfortingly.

 

“You know I will, for you,” her voice continued to be quiet.

 

And she fled so quickly, it was almost like she just disappeared from sight.

 

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“Is there any word from Arthur?”

“No, Sire, not yet. But they haven’t been gone long.”

“Yes, of course.”

“Why are you so certain that she’s been kidnapped?”

“What other possibility is there?”

“She was very upset after the fire. She could’ve gone of her own accord.”

“That’s not Morgana. In all her years, I’ve never known her to run from anything. Takes after her father too much for that.”

“You haven’t let Gorlois down. You’ve looked after that girl as if she were your own.”

“That is what she’s become. If she were to die, a huge part of me would die with her.”

 

She dreamt that. She wasn’t sure if it was present time or for the future (the next day or whatever). Whatever it was, hearing the conversation between Uther and Gaius put an ache into her heart.

 

She didn’t want to be jealous of her beloved friend, but she couldn’t help resenting Morgana for being ungrateful of Uther’s love and causing him so much pain.

 

But she determinedly got to Morgana and made sure to practically drag her back to Camelot by getting her to Arthur without being seen, witnessing with an uneasiness Mordred’s formidable potential power, and helping the others escape. She made sure to heal Aglain, the druid who’d been helping Morgana all this time, as much as she could, before she fled.

 

“I was so worried about you,” she heard Uther speak to Morgana, as she watched from a distance.

 

“You were right. It was the druids. They kidnapped her,” Arthur’s voice echoed in the yard.

 

She watched Uther continue his embrace with the Lady Morgana, the lady’s face uncomfortable and almost resentful, and Uther’s a huge expression of relief and happiness.

 

Merlin watched balefully, before directing her unhappy stare to the ground. She missed Uther catching sight of her and his expression turning to one of worry.

 

Rebelliously, she didn’t do any of her regular chores for Arthur, see him, ignored any summons from Uther, and basically avoided anyone that crossed her path or wanted her.

 

However, at dinnertime, she was sidelined by Arthur who had finally managed to catch her and practically kidnapped her. In his room, his table was set for two and he’d sat her on one end as he sat opposite her.

 

“If I remember right, you liked my cooking, didn’t you?” he grinned and winked at her, gesturing at the food on the table and that was obviously from the kitchens.

 

She couldn’t help smiling a little and he took that as a good sign.

 

“But I do prefer your cooking,” and this time, that earned him a good laugh out of her.

 

They had a great dinner together and Merlin’s mood immediately started to uplift, and she was so glad for Arthur.

 

Though, with the way he kept giving her wine, she was easily and quickly getting drunk.

 

“Arrrttthhhuuurr, staaawp iiit,” she giggled and he looked at her amusingly.

 

“I love you. But you’re so silly,” Arthur told her. “And yet I still love you like this. I love you any way.”

 

She leaned over and sniffed him. “You smell good.”

 

He barked out in laughter.

 

The next morning, they were having breakfast together for once, but she ate light in the case that she decided she would go have her usual breakfast with Uther after all.

 

“Hey, I have something for you,” Arthur told her eagerly, getting up from the table and going to his wardrobe.

 

He took something out and headed towards her again, handing her something long covered in a cerulean cloth.

 

“Oooh, present time. What is it?” Merlin asked, already starting to uncover it anyway.

 

Her smile faltered and stared down at his gift to her.

 

The glass sword she owned in the future, was held loftily in her hands.

!