The Empress Strikes Back

 

Wulfric wiped a cloth down his slightly burnt, soot-covered face. He grinned widely at the couple as he roughly patted Pyroar’s head.

 

“Damn good girl, you’ve got here,” he complimented Ash.

 

“She is,” Ash agreed wholeheartedly, watching on fondly.

 

“That’ll be one snow battle that might actually never be forgotten,” Giovanni rubbed the back of his head as he took a sip of his coffee to warm up. “Who the hell has a snow war for a badge? The whole city was pulled into it too.”

 

“My loyal, loyal soldiers,” Ash smiled wildly, looking over out the window where everyone still was…some of them still strewn out on the snowy ground or across something. A few others were just gathered around and talking, some laughing as they were covered in blankets and drinking their hot drinks.

 

“I should do this more often,” Wulfric thought about it. “It’s more fun to battle this way, change things up from the everyday pokémon battle.”

 

Giovanni sweatdropped, but Ash nodded.

 

“You should,” she agreed.

 

Just then her phone buzzed and she took it out and saw she had a message, finding it was from Looker. Eyes widening as she read the message, she turned to her husband.

 

“Giovanni! Looker says Lysandre’s getting ready to kick things into gear and start his plan. We need to hightail it back to Lumiose City and stop him.”

 

Giovanni sputtered, nearly choking on his coffee. He quickly placed it down and got up.

 

“What are we waiting for?”

 

Wulfric stopped them though. “Hold on a sec. Before you leave on whatever mission you need to go on, here’s your badge!”

 

Ash giddily accepted it and kissed Wulfric on the cheek.

 

“Thank you! Bye~” she ran out of there, scooping up Pikachu and recalling Pyroar. Giovanni was on her heels, recalling Persian as well.

 

 

They left behind a bewildered, slightly blushing Wulfric, who thought that day was going to be one of the most memorable one he’s ever had, as well as those two being unforgettable. Although, looking outside, he doubted he’d be the only one.

 

“Snowbelle City’s Epic Snow War! Just hours ago, the city of snow in Kalos erupted into a fervor, locals being drafted to side with either Wulfric (the city’s gym leader) or the couple who started the snow fight, most specifically an Ash Ketchum who fought against Wulfric with a badge on the line.”

 

If Oak could do a spit take, he would have. Fortunately, his grandson was there and did the spit take for him, spitting out the soda he’d just taken a drink of.

 

“What the hell? What is that dork doing over there?!” his grandson exclaimed about his former rival.

 

“The whole situation started as the couple were already clearly in a snowball fight, which evolved into letting the kids join as they came to them and asked to join in. Eventually, locals of all ages started to join, until Wulfric noticed the commotion and decided to declare an all-out battle against Ketchum, who agreed if it was over a gym badge. Locals were then further drafted and taken into each side, and then the war began.”

 

“And what’s this about a couple?” Gary gaped. “Ash isn’t with anyone like that, and there’s no way anyone would want to be with a dorky loser like her anyway!” though he sounded slightly jealous, and Oak thought that the two had already resolved their differences and became friends again a long time ago, before Ash set off to Sinnoh or something…

 

Although he knew the two affectionately still name-called each other, he had a feeling about Gary right then.

 

“Um, Gary, she’s married,” Oak revealed.

 

Gary stared at him.

 

 

“WHAT?!”

 

Oak honestly couldn’t wait until Ash came home to deal with all this.

 

Ash sneezed as she stumbled on the last step into the RV, wondering if someone was talking about her. Shaking her head and banishing the thought so that she could focus on the now, she made her way towards Giovanni. Draping an arm around his shoulder as he started up the RV, she grinned wickedly.

 

“Put the pedal to the metal, baby! Let’s hightail it out of here!”

 

Giovanni grinned back at her and did so, burning rubber even with the snowy terrain. It didn’t take them long to get out of the city, but they now had to make their way quickly to Lumiose City.

 

“Looker’s going to do his best to stall,” Ash told him. “And I messaged the Idiot Brigade at Geosenge Town, who said they were keeping an eye out and trying their best to dismantle whatever’s in reach, even if it’s a coffeemaker.”

 

“I would hope they’re actually focusing and getting machines that are worth something to Team Flare in some way,” he grumbled.

 

Ash laughed. “They are, but they also defended that when I asked the same thing by saying that lack of coffee makes Flare agents grumpy, disoriented, anxious, and drives them into a panic.”

 

Giovanni snickered. “Well, at least there’s that. Sleep tight until I get us there, okay? You’ll need your rest.”

 

“What about you?” she hesitated.

 

He gave her a reassuring look. “I’ll be fine for now. If I get tired, I’ll pull over and take a nap, so I can be rested as well. Just worry about yourself for now.”

 

Ash reluctantly nodded and turned to go. Though she paused and hesitated again, this time moving towards him after and kissing him briefly.

 

“Love you,” she muttered, and walked quickly to the back before he could say anything.

 

He warmed up slightly, feeling happy that he had someone to say that to him and someone he could say it back, but especially that it was Ash. His grin growing again, he sped up and continued to drive recklessly.

 

 

With the way the two of them drove the RV, switching off every other occasion, it wasn’t really that hard to see them coming a mile away.

 

If Serena was refusing to talk to Lysandre, that was his fault. After she told him about who he was, he steadfastly went into quick denial. And not denying it, but really went into denial. He made himself believe she didn’t actually know, that he wasn’t really the boss of Team Flare when he was with her, and whatever else he was refusing to face.

 

Serena had just sighed at the time and rolled her eyes, letting him daydream and play pretend. For some reason, she had the feeling that Ash was just going to crash into and destroy his fantasy, so she wasn’t going to make that worse. In the meantime, she continued to be around him…until now.

 

Because Lysandre was anxious and something was happening and he had the nerve to kidnap her from her home and lock her up in this meeting room. Just. No.

 

Hence the silence treatment.

 

“Serena, please,” Lysandre muttered helplessly. “The truth is…the truth is I am the boss of Team Flare,” he declared.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I already told you I knew that.”

 

He stared at her.

 

“Really? Are you seriously telling me that you really made yourself forget that time so you could believe I didn’t know?”

 

Lysandre’s face turned red slightly. “I remember it now…but still! This is important because my Team may have caught Yveltal and the weapon it’s supposed to power might be coming on soon…”

 

She was the one staring this time. “What do you mean may be and might be?” she grabbed his ear and yanked, causing him to yelp in pain. “You are taking me to wherever you are holding Yveltal and release it and stop this craziness, you hear me? Honestly!”

 

 

How did Ash deal with all this?!

 

Haphazardly parking next to Lysandre’s café, the two of them went to the back and were going to get ready when there was a knock on their door. Giving each other confused looks, Ash went to the door and opened it to find it was Sycamore. He waved.

 

“Allo, my petite dear! I come bearing gifts,” he slightly shook the large box in his hand. “It is from Valerie.”

 

“Valerie…the fashion designer gym leader?” Ash remembered, while Giovanni eyed Sycamore disdainfully, not at all happy to see the man. He still remembered how flirty he’d been with Giovanni’s wife…

 

“Yes! Here you go, Ash,” he handed the box to them. “She’d sent it a little bit ago, not knowing where you’d be but predicting you would come back to see me again, as you are a pokémon trainer. I’ve kept it for you, until I saw your vehicle come barreling down the street and thought to come over.”

 

“Er, okay. Thanks, Augustine!”

 

“Yeah, thanks,” Giovanni said and then grabbed the door from her and slammed it in the professor’s face.

 

Ash snorted. “Your green side is showing.”

 

He grunted before gently taking the box from her and opening it. They both looked inside and almost gaped at the clothing stashed in there.

 

“She made us clothing?” Giovanni blinked.

 

“Ohhh! She actually personally designed and made us the clothes,” Ash said, reading the letter that came with the box. “How nice of her~”

 

Shrugging it off, Giovanni grabbed what was obviously his and handed over Ash’s. They quickly changed into their clothing, and examined them and each other’s. Giovanni had a pinstripe suit on, with the red lines against black. On top of that, he had a snakeish-designed trench coat that was lined a deep red on the inside and had fur lining on the collar. Grinning and approving of the look, he flipped out the accompanying dark sunglasses and put them on.

 

Oppositely, Ash was wearing what looked like a fighting-styled kimono. Completely black and skirt hem ending mid-thigh, the back had an embroidered Pyroar and Persian on their hind paws and aggressively locking their fore paws. Lightning bolts lined her kimono sleeves, which ended at her elbows.

 

“Oh yeah! It’s going down for real,” Ash pumped a first in the air.

 

Giovanni tossed her the snow sniper rifle, while taking one of the Browning rifles they’d used before. This time he made sure he had the live rounds. If he was looking badass, there was no way he was going to ruin the image by using a paint gun.

 

“Now we’re ready,” he told her.

 

She smirked at him and grabbed a shotgun from the side (where’d that come from? He didn’t remember having that) and cocked it.

 

“Definitely,” she said haughtily.

 

He admitted that her cocking the shotgun like that and posing the way she was totally turned him on.

 

“That was so hot,” he leaned towards her, reaching to grab her waist.

 

She grabbed his wrists and snickered. “We so don’t have time for that. Come on already! We got to go.”

 

He pouted, but complied. Ash tossed the snow gun at Pikachu, who was able to catch it easily, despite it being double his size.

 

“You get that, Pikachu. Persian, you’re free to maul anyone in your way,” she said as she started out the RV.

 

Giovanni sweatdropped. Well…he guessed he felt just the littlest bit sorry for those Team Flare idiots who got in their way.

 

And so they walked into the building slowly, taking their time and making sure they walked almost in slow motion even and basically went out of their way to look as cool as possible.

 

“Hey, you two! Who are you and why are you here?” a Flare grunt yelled out at them.

 

He got a face full of snow, courtesy of Pikachu.

 

And then, to make matters worse, Giovanni went behind him and definitely knocked him out with the butt of his Browning. Giovanni laughed mockingly. This was really way too much fun.

 

Together, the four of them caused chaos through the building. And really, despite the crazy shooting, they weren’t there to actually shoot someone (and they really didn’t shoot anyone). They did aim near them and enjoyed scaring the crap out of everyone, shooting first and terrifying them before the fools could even reach for a pokéball. Honestly, Giovanni should have done something like this sooner. Ash was right. He was a freaking criminal. Why was he playing by the rules and doing pokémon battles?

 

Pikachu was having a blast with the snow rifle though. So many grunts fell due to a face smacked full of snow. Ash wasn’t even sure how the thing hadn’t run out already, with the way Pikachu was going at it.

 

Then there was that guy she remembered from Frost Cavern, the one she’d taken out just before they went after Aliana.

 

He just had a moment to say “Not again –!” before Pikachu shot off a snow bullet to his face and he was knocked out.

 

“Poor guy,” Ash said sympathetically. “That’s the second time.”

 

“Bonnie?” someone called out, and she turned to see David the Hairstylist (her hairstylist?) look at her.

 

“Ah, David,” she coughed and felt like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. But then he was looking at her hair longingly and she couldn’t help grinning. “So…after all this, I’ll let you style my hair?”

 

He promptly sat down on the floor and held up his hands in surrender.

 

“Good man,” she inwardly laughed triumphantly. “Off we go, Clyde! It’s our ‘blaze of glory’ moment!”

 

Finally, they ran across a scientist that was a big name in Team Flare, someone Giovanni recognized was named Xerosic.

 

“I won’t let you get away with this!” the man hissed angrily. “Team Flare will prevail –!”

 

Ash cut him off. “Fuck Flare. Rocket forever, bitches!” And then proceeded to order, “Persian, sic ‘im!”

 

Persian followed her orders and ran towards Xerosic, making him scream and scramble back. Although he eventually tripped over his own feet and Persian crashed into him, causing him to topple back with another scream.

 

Giovanni took mercy on the guy, wincing as he called Persian off. The man looked horrible, scratched up and bleeding everywhere, and his clothes all torn up. Xerosic moaned and lay on the ground in pain.

 

“It’s too late,” the man moaned again. He held up a remote. “I’ve already activated the weapon…”

 

Pikachu shot him in the face with the snow gun, promptly knocking him out.

 

“He was already down and defeated, Pikachu,” Ash said in amusement.

 

“Pika,” Pikachu pouted and crossed his arms.

 

“We should head to Geosenge now,” Giovanni sighed, glancing balefully at the downed scientist. “We’ve got a weapon to stop.”

 

“You’re right,” Ash agreed.

 

He recalled Persian and Pikachu headed towards Ash to climb up her and hold onto her head. They started to head out, when they ran across the chamber, having déjà vu but this time seeing Yveltal in it. Ash rushed in with Giovanni coming after her, and the two of them helped Yveltal get free from there. However, instead of just leaving, it looked to the Master Ball on Giovanni’s belt and then to them. Yveltal then leaned towards Ash and nudged his face against the Master Ball, getting sucked in.

 

“Well, that was…”

 

“Not unexpected,” Giovanni finished for Ash.

 

Ash scratched her head. “Actually, I was going to say it was unexpected, but in hindsight, it kind of was.”

 

“These things happen around you, remember?” he said sardonically. He shook his head. “Let’s go. I think we’ll need to ride our Charizard to get to Geosenge in time.”

 

 

“Got it!”

 

By the time they reached Geosenge Town, they could see the huge weapon starting to peek through what they knew was the Team Flare Headquarters there. They burst into the building without the fanfare they wished they could have, and immediately ran in to find Lysandre frantically messing with the main computer. Serena was surprisingly there as well.

 

“Why did it come on?” she screamed at him.

 

“I don’t know!” Lysandre was panicking.

 

“Did we interrupt something?” Giovanni deadpanned.

 

Serena pointed at Lysandre. “I dragged him here to stop this, and instead the weapon comes on instead.”

 

“That was Xerosic,” Ash shrugged. “He’s paying for it though.”

 

Lysandre whirled on them. “You know what? I’m still the Flare Boss! I won’t be defeated so easily.”

 

He tossed out his pokéball and his Pyroar came out. Giovanni looked at Ash and then stepped aside to let her do the honors, though he took Lysandre’s place at the computer to stop the weapon using a virus he had on a flashdrive. Ash brought hers out as well and the two faced off…only Lysandre’s Pyroar kind of scuttled back, staring at Ash’s.

 

“Pyroar, what are you doing?” Lysandre was aghast at his pokémon’s behavior.

 

“Pyroar,” although both Pyroar looked at her. “My Pyroar! Noble Roar! Agility! Then Leer! Sexy-like though!” At that, the humans in the room looked at her strangely, but her Pyroar followed her orders, leading to Lysandre’s Pyroar becoming dazed.

 

“Now kiss!”

 

“That’s not a pokémon attack!” Lysandre protested, but Ash’s Pyroar followed through and Lysandre’s Pyroar swayed while having a goofy grin on his face, eventually passing out happily.

 

Ash strode over to Lysandre, grabbed his jacket, and practically ripped it off of him.

 

“I’m taking this,” she declared. She then looked at Serena and winked suggestively. “Have fun with him~”

 

She then recalled her Pyroar and then stalked over to Giovanni, grabbing his hand and leaving the room. Pikachu followed, but stopped momentarily to look at Lysandre menacingly, pointing two fingers at his eyes and then pointed them at Lysandre. He left quickly after, to catch up to the other two.

 

Serena patted Lysandre’s arm sympathetically.

 

“Let’s go get some milkshakes, huh?”

 

 

“Yeah…yeah…I think I need some sugar.”

 

Giovanni and Ash settled happily on their Charizard, flying back to Lumiose City.

 

“So…” Ash glanced at Giovanni.

 

“Let’s stay married,” he said, still riding his high.

 

Ash beamed happily at him. “Okay! We can cycle around places, maybe even around the other regions, while we wait for the Kalos League Tournament.”

 

“And generally cause more mayhem together,” Giovanni moved Maximus closer to her and snuck a kiss.

 

“Ride or die, darling! Ride or die!”

 

But then…

 

“Whatever happened to Looker? Or our Idiot Brigade?”

 

Meanwhile…

 

In Lumiose City, Looker gaped unashamedly as he and his team of officers looked at the chaos strewn about the Flare Headquarters he’d formerly been undercover at.

 

“Arceus, what the hell happened here?” he heard one of his officers exclaimed.

 

He shrugged, not wanting to think about it. He strode forward and walked until he came across someone who was actually still conscious, sitting cross-legged on the floor and holding up his hands.

 

“Parlay,” he said stoically to Looker.

 

“I’m not a pirate…” Looker answered tiredly, shaking his head.

 

The Flare grunt shrugged. “I’m waiting for Bonnie and Clyde, so I can go and style Bonnie’s hair.”

 

Looker stared at him. Of course. What had he been expecting?

 

Just then, the doors to the building burst open and six different people in Team Rocket outfits appeared, their pokémon out as they held…guns? in their hands.

 

“You’re late to the party,” Looker said sarcastically.

 

Whatever happened to his life? How did it come to this?

 

“Ah, damn!” a talking Meowth yelled.

 

 

Looker slapped his hand against his face in exasperation.

 

Diantha held the meeting, looking over the other Elite Four and the gym leaders of the Kalos Region. Idly, she overheard Olympia telling Ramos about a certain girl’s future.

 

“Wait, are you talking about Ash Ketchum?” she asked, wondering about the young, married girl.

 

Olympia’s mouth twitched slightly. “Oh yes. I had a battle with her for a badge, and she asked before it if I could tell her fortune. I told her I couldn’t but that my bracelets could tell the future, so I offered to let her touch them and tell her future after the battle if she won.”

 

Korrina leaned over the table. “Really? What’s her future then?”

 

When Olympia reluctantly told them, they couldn’t help staring at her. And then Ramos dropped a bombshell, pulling out a paper and placing it on the table, pushing it towards Diantha.

 

“My resignation. I’m going to go off and join Team Rocket.”

 

Suddenly the room exploded into a cacophony of shouting and yells, others yelling out their resignation too.

 

Diantha giggled in amusement. Those two had such an impact on people.

 

Amusingly, their future wasn’t all that surprising. And really? It seemed their future really was coming true, and someone up there must’ve been determined and loved the idea that those two ended up ruling the world together.

 

C’est la vie, right?