Prologue: Can't Handle It?
“So…”
“So…”
“Somewhere along the way, we must’ve screwed up,” Giovanni sighed.
Ash scrunched up her nose. “Meh…I don’t know. I think they just want a scapegoat.”
He gave her a look, but she just gave a wide grin at him that would’ve reassured anyone else, but he was pretty skeptical at the moment (and he also knew his wife).
His wife…
He smiled dreamily. When it came to her, he had a tendency to become very out of it these days. But then again, he had always known and ironically hadn’t known just how awesome Ash Ketchum was. He’d learned about her exploits, which were amazing in themselves, but then having first-hand experience and being around her just drove that fact home.
Consequently, he ignored Ash giving him a strange look, since he was sure he looked dreamy and was a little out of it.
“Do I want to know?” she asked.
“I’m thinking about how awesome you are, how fantastic it is you’re my wife, the fact we’re going to rule the world together, and that I really, really want to ravish you,” he told her bluntly, and she gave him an amused smile in return.
“Is that so?” she asked him dryly and he leered at her. “As pleased as I am that you’re happy about all that, we’re in a jail cell, with guards watching us, and you want to do it right now?”
“Want to give them a show?” he smirked. “Besides, it’s their fault for sticking us both in the same cell.”
She laughed lightly. “Ah geez, you’ve really corrupted me,” she said as she came closer to him and sat herself on his lap.
He snorted, even as he wrapped his arms around her. “Actually, I think it’s more like you corrupted me.”
Then he leaned down and captured her lips, wasting no time snogging the hell out of her. She made a pleased noise as she stretched up and leaned against him, coiling her arms around his neck. Giovanni gripped her hips and squeezed, before lifting her up and earning a surprised squeal out of her. Smirking, he lifted her up even more as he stood up, and she wrapped her legs around him.
“H-hey you two! Quit fooling around!”
They ignored the officer and started to make out again.
Honestly, they weren’t paid enough for this. They were Lumiose City’s finest, but police officers don’t earn that much.
“Y-Yes! Just like that!”
Officer Gregory winced and shared a miserable look with Officer Hugo. Hugo had, after the initial warning (which had been firmly ignored by the couple), rushed to find a sheet of some sort and had covered up the cell in a panic, refusing to watch and catch sight of the two who had decided to start getting raunchy in the jail cell (not that it stopped the sounds).
“Is that what I think it is?” Officer Wilson joined Hugo and Gregory, eyes bugging out as he stared at the covered jail cell and hearing the sounds.
The others locked up in adjoining jail cells, including one just chock full of Team Flare agents that had been rounded up and arrested after being apprehended by Detective Looker and supposedly those two in that jail cell, were either in shock or catcalling and getting rowdy as they cheered on the couple. A fair number of those inmates were drunkards.
“This is just not my night,” Gregory quietly groaned, slapping a hand against his face.
“How do we know they’re not just faking it, so that we don’t see what they’re actually doing behind the sheet –you know, planning an escape or something?” Wilson asked skeptically.
The other two frowned and Hugo cautiously and quietly went over to check out the duo, pinching the edge of the sheet and lifting it slightly as he peeked around it. His fingers let go and the sheet fluttered back in place. He turned and blankly came back to the other officers.
“So?” Wilson asked in confusion.
“Nope,” Hugo shook his head vehemently. “Nope, nope, nope. They are literally screwing in there and not planning an escape. I felt like I was a voyeur and being a pervert.”
“Or watching a porno?” Gregory chuckled.
“Only with a really, really hot actor and actress,” Hugo confessed.
“So more like a celebrity sex tape,” Wilson choked back a laugh.
Hugo looked thoughtful. “Hm…yeah….”
“Hugo?” Gregory nudged his partner.
“We got any of our cameras around here?”
Looker looked at the bored couple, who were handcuffed and lounging at their seats.
“I hear you were giving the police officers some trouble,” he told them, tone as dry as most deserts.
Giovanni’s lips twitched up as Ash’s cheeks pinked.
“Perhaps,” Giovanni was smirking smugly.
“I would apologize, but I had a really good time,” Ash managed to say cheekily.
“In more ways than one,” Giovanni muttered under his breath, smirk widening.
“Never mind all this,” Looker sighed in exasperation. “We need to talk about you two being in here and what we can do about it.”
“Yeah, about that,” Ash huffed. “Why are we in here? They didn’t exactly specify that when we were arrested –mind you, Giovanni and I had just defeated Team Flare and saved the day and all –and then we end up and land here in Lumiose City and get cuffed. What’s up with that?”
“Actually, Ash, they did say something about why we were arrested, we just couldn’t hear or focus on that since we were too busy screaming at them and issuing vague threats about them regretting everything,” Giovanni spoke up.
Looker cut in, eye twitching a bit. “You two were arrested on the suspicion of being the notorious ‘Bonnie and Clyde,’” though Looker knew the two actually was the ‘criminal’ duo.
Ash pouted. “Really?”
Giovanni carefully eyed the cameras. “We’re not talking –not that we are this Bonnie and Clyde,” he said smoothly. “And we never got our phone calls. Also, I want our lawyer in here.”
“We have a lawyer?” Ash asked in surprise.
He reached over and patted her hand without taking his eyes off Looker. “Hush now, let me handle this. The adventuring was your forte, this legal stuff is mine.” He smiled like a horrible, horrible Sharpedo.
“Detective Looker, you and I both know that Ash is the darling of every region she’s ever traveled.” Looker damn well knew that. He’d been in some of those regions with her and watched as she practically lured everyone to her and put them under her spell. He’d also been to other places that she’d been to, and she was always brought up by someone or it was inevitable someone there would know her if he asked.
Ash practically preened.
Giovanni sat back in satisfaction. “And I am a world-renowned successful businessman and pokémon trainer, former Viridian gym leader, on the boards of the Viridian City Council and the Pokémon League –the Kanto charter and the International board –and a man with many connections. Need I go on?”
Looker shook his head, flinching.
“It’s not going to go down well if Ash and I are put down for this, especially since we didn’t do anything,” Giovanni’s voice held a hint of a threat.
Looker sweatdropped. “You two know I am on your side, right?”
The couple looked sheepish.
“I’ll get you two your phone calls and your lawyer,” Looker rolled his eyes. “In the meantime, behave.”
Honestly, these two.
Professor Oak was just finishing his breakfast when his phone rang. Delia and his grandson were there, chatting still about that ridiculous news story about Ash’s epic snow battle for a badge, though Gary was still clueless about Ash’s new ‘husband.’
Not that he or Delia were inclined to tell him. Too much of a headache and it was more amusing to watch his grandson flounder around.
Oak picked up the phone. “Hello, Oak Residence. This is Samuel Oak, how may I help you?”
“Sam! Hi!”
He blinked. “Ash?” he asked, causing the other two to glance at him at hearing Ash’s name.
“Hey! I just called to catch up since Giovanni said he’d handle everything else,” Ash told him, confusing him.
“Oh, that’s nice,” he answered hesitantly. “How are you? Where are you right now? What are you doing?” he began to ask.
“So, I’m in jail in the Lumiose City police station –” and she kept chattering on happily, but most of it was like white noise to Oak, who blanked out after hearing she was in jail. “ –Ah, oops! Looks like time’s up and I gotta go! Great catching up with you, Sammy! Talk to you later~”
When she hung up, Oak was still holding onto the phone and keeping it to his ear for a few more seconds. Then he blankly placed it back in place.
“Gramps, you okay?” Gary asked him.
Oak turned to them and blinked slowly. “Ash is in jail,” he said faintly.
Delia sighed, resigned to that news already while Gary did another spit take at the new news about Ash.
“The pre-trial will begin in a little bit, but everything will be fine,” Giovanni told her.
Ash nodded, though she was still unsure.
“Trust me,” he said with a wide grin, leaning over to kiss her. “I’m a master at these kinds of things. Why do you think I never go to jail?”
Ash was tempted to roll her eyes, but instead just shook her head at him. “When do I get to meet our lawyer? I thought we were supposed to meet with lawyers way before the case, so we can prepare and all?”
“You meet him now,” Giovanni surprised her. “And like I said, trust me. It’s all handled.”
“Giovanni, sir, I’m here,” someone’s unfamiliar voice said and Ash turned to face them.
Light blue hair and eyes, and in a crisped suit, whoever it was looked professional enough to be the lawyer Giovanni said she’d meet then.
“Ma’am,” he bowed slightly towards her. “I am Archer, Giovanni’s right hand man. I will also be acting as your lawyer today.”
Ash raised an eyebrow. “Huh…you know, I like him. If we ever divorce, I’m going to steal him from you, along with Persian.”
Giovanni gave her a bland look. “Then I should be glad it seems like we’ll stay together for a long time, and no business getting a divorce.”
“Technically, Ma’am, you don’t even need to steal Persian and I,” Archer interjected, his tone still polite and formal. “You didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement, therefore could in case allot myself and Persian to yourself in divorce proceedings.”
“Traitor,” Giovanni muttered, glaring at his subordinate, who didn’t bat an eye.
“Ohh, I definitely like him,” Ash cooed, embracing the blunet. “I’m looking forward to working with such an obedient, hardworking, excellent worker as you, Archer!”
Archer actually was beaming slightly, something Giovanni had never seen done by the slightly younger man. He glared harder at the other.
And also…he eyed the embrace with a scowl and reached over and grabbed Ash, tugging her after him.
Yes, he was totally an overly jealous, possessive asshole.
The trial started slow and then their charges were read. They were asked how they pleaded.
“Not guilty,” Giovanni said slickly, looking unruffled. Ash had a ‘duh’ look on her face.
The judge looked over the evidence compiled, which was actually rather lacking and didn’t really point the two out as this ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ duo.
“Sir, I have also gathered a slew of character witnesses, who would swear that these two are the best kind of people, and who would promise you these two are definitely not Bonnie and Clyde,” Archer said professionally.
“Well, bring them in,” the judge said, frowning as he closed the evidence folder.
Chaos suddenly seemed to erupt as people seemed to pour into the courtroom, starting to yell and cry out in defense of Giovanni and Ash with abandon. The judge looked alarmed and in disbelief.
Ash stared and then looked at Giovanni. “Handled, huh?” she laughed.
“Yep. Told you so.”
“I tell you, these two are NOT Bonnie and Clyde!” Viola yelled out.
“Outrageous,” Ramos huffed.
“They’re not even red heads or wearing the same things!” Korrina pointed.
The prosecutor managed to cut in. “Most of the Flare agents dye their hair, and who says they couldn’t have taken off the uniform?”
“Lies, all lies!”
“Defamation of character, I tell you! You should be the one arrested and sued!”
Giovanni chuckled. “Archer, did you bring lunch?”
“Yes, sir,” Archer said, opening his briefcase and pulling out an amazing assortment of food.
“Food, dear?” Giovanni turned to her with his classic smirk. “We’ll let them battle it out.”
Ash burst out laughing and sat herself down. “Why the hell not?”
In the end, they were let off because of lack of evidence and well…the crowd of angry gym leaders, Diantha, and various others were just too much, and would be hell to hold them ALL in contempt.