Queen of Disaster

Ash was warm and didn’t want to wake up. But unfortunately, she couldn’t help herself and she started to feel more aware and awake. She yawned and wiggled out of her blanket, and sat up on her knees, rubbing her eyes with a fisted hand.

“Good morning,” she heard Giovanni call out neutrally, and she looked up to see him sitting at the small table by the window, calmly reading the newspaper and drinking coffee.

“Morning,” she muttered back, fighting back another yawn. She sniffed the air and glanced at the coffee cup next to him with a small happy grin. “Smells nice in here.”

“I decided to try the white chocolate macadamia creamer this morning,” he told her, flipping the page.

She let herself have a pleased grin, inwardly happy that she managed to get him to change his coffee habits. Tossing the blanket completely away from her, she slid off the bed and stretched, getting all the kinks out of her body.

“M’gonna go bathroom,” she let out one last yawn and headed to the bathroom.

She did her business quickly and had just started to wash her hands, when she looked up and saw herself in the mirror. She blinked.

She screamed loudly.

Back in the room, Giovanni snickered to himself and smirked. When she ran into the room, he looked up finally and eyed the marks on her in satisfaction.

“I’ve been bitten alive by bugs,” she screamed in terror. “Or maybe bug pokémon, considering some of these bites are big…”

He sweatdropped. Okay, he hadn’t expected that.

“No,” he deadpanned. “Those are love bites. Hickeys. They aren’t bug bites.”

She stared at him for a moment, before a dark look crossed her face. “You! You did it!”

He inwardly pouted. “I was hoping you wouldn’t figure that out quickly, and would’ve blamed those idiots from the bar last night first.”

“I’m not laughing, asshole!”

He sniffed haughtily. “Serves you right for going to strangers and taking drinks from them, never mind getting drunk with those morons. Where did your senses go?”

Ash gave him an incredulous look. “Are you trying to teach me a lesson?”

Giovanni gave her a look, and she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re still in your pajamas!” he called out, though she was long gone.

He chuckled and went back to focus on the paper, eying the article about the latest Team Flare activity.

“Soon,” he muttered smugly.

He was shocked out of his mind, when he was suddenly doused with cold water. He dropped his soggy newspaper onto the table and turned his head to look at the culprit, seeing a smirking Ash holding a large bowl that had probably housed the water that was dumped on him.

“Oh, sorry. It looked like your big, pervert head needed a really cold shower to cool off,” she said sarcastically. “Maybe you should take a hot one now, before you catch a cold from the draft.”

He scowled. “You know what, I will. And I’ll take an extra long one to take up all the hot water while I’m at it.”

Giovanni got up and stormed into the bathroom, after he’d grabbed new clothes to wear. He took as long as he wanted, making sure to take up the hot water as he said, although he knew it probably wouldn’t matter since they were staying in a public venue and hot water was always readily available.

When he got out of the shower, he grinned when he saw his clothes were missing from the bathroom counter. So she wanted to play it like that, did she…

He toweled down and then wrapped the towel around his waist loosely, before going out of the bathroom.

“If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was say so –” he cut himself off when he realized he was alone in the room. He blinked. “What?”

He sighed at the missed opportunity and went to find more clothes. Only…his bag was empty. Searching all around the room, he realized that there was no sign of any of his clothes anywhere, not even the soaked ones he’d tossed off.

“Shit, that little brat,” he grumbled. “What’s she up to?”

“Oh, that’s a great view,” her voice sounded from behind, and he whirled around to see her leaning against the entranceway to their room. She stepped in and closed the door, and he noted that her hair was wet and clinging to her face, and she had changed clothes. Had she taken a shower elsewhere? “If you wanted to give a show, all you had to do was say so~”

And it seemed she’d turned the tables on him. Feeling a bit self-conscious all of a sudden, he lifted his chin up defiantly and awkwardly adjusted and secured the towel around his waist. Ash merely smirked at him before humming as she walked to the desk and plopped herself down. She rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a chapstick. She was putting it on as she addressed him again.

“So, most times I’m on a rush and never really get to explore a city, but since we have a car and all, time isn’t really an issue and I’m a little more laidback and not in a rush to go to all the gyms in a hurry this time. I would really like to look around Santalune for a bit before we drive off.”

“You’re free to go,” he told her indifferently.

Her smirk widened. “But I’d like you to go with me. After all, we’re married. And Viola and Alexa, maybe even Nurse Joy at this point, know we’re married. Wouldn’t it look odd not to go together?”

“As you can see, I’m a bit preoccupied and missing my clothes at the moment,” he gave her an accusing look.

“About that,” she started slyly, “I saw what a horrible predicament you were in, with all your clothes having gone missing somehow. I thought I’d be…helpful.”

Ash grabbed a bag from under the desk and tossed it to him and he caught it, with his towel loosening only slightly now that he wasn’t holding it up. He opened the bag and peered inside, grimacing after.

“You’ve got to be kidding…”

“I tried my best to get your size right,” she withheld her snicker. “But, like you said, I don’t have such a good handle on your figure.”

Giovanni glowered at her, knowing she took his clothes and that she would have known his sizes had she looked at them and used them for comparison. And that was nothing to say about what clothes she actually picked out for him…

“It’s either those or you stay naked,” she offered “helpfully.”

He grumbled and practically stomped into the bathroom (not that he would admit that was what he did). He quickly put on the clothes and then headed back out, glaring at her giggling figure. She was doing her best to contain her giggles, but she wasn’t doing so well and he had a feeling that she wasn’t even trying too hard.

“Looks great, Giovanni,” she remarked with a wide grin.

“The shirt is pink, both it and the jeans –I don’t wear jeans –are too tight, and you didn’t even get me underwear,” he growled. “I can’t even button up the shirt all the way! I might as well not wear the damn thing.”

“I thought you wouldn’t mind going commando,” she said with a lazy grin and watching his lower half with half-lidded eyes. “And pink looks good on you.”

His cheeks were tinting red then. Hell, he was the one with flushing cheeks at all. Oh, the tables had definitely turned…

“Let’s go shopping, dear,” she smiled mockingly and he sighed in resignation.

Giovanni grumbled to himself again, but he grabbed his wallet (which he did notice was left alone). He passed by her and grabbed her collar, smugly noticing that his mark on her was boldly showing, and dragged her behind him. He ignored her starting to cackle like a madwoman.

Incidentally, as they traveled through the outlet mall she’d brought him to, he realized they weren’t going shopping for her.

They were shopping for him.

While he had a load of bags he was forced to carry (which he’d expected, not just because she was a female but because this was some form of punishment, he knew), she carried quite a few bags herself. However, he hadn’t been allowed to choose any of his clothes. In fact, there were absolutely no suits in those bags. Ash was steadfastly going through each store and picking all the casual clothing she saw and liked on him.

“I don’t wear casual clothing,” he groused.

“No, you told me you didn’t because you don’t have a lot of casual clothes, so you wear what you have,” she huffed at him.

Giovanni twitched. “And I said I rarely go out of my suits in the first place.”

“But dear,” she simpered mockingly. “It’s our honeymoon. You can’t wear suits on our honeymoon. You’d look like you’re on business.”

“Fine,” he grated out. But then he got an idea, and he was the one smirking now. “But only if you get a negligee.”

“Done,” she said succinctly and strutted passed him.

He blinked and gaped at her. He was losing control of everything, and fast. He wasn’t even really protesting or doing much to stop her from spending his money on clothes he didn’t want to wear. And yet, there he was, carrying bags filled with casual clothes that she was more or less demanding he wear for the rest of their journey together.

Giovanni didn’t even get to go with her into the lingerie store and see which negligee she’d get.

After the shopping trip, they picked up their pokémon and headed to their room quietly, though Ash was now nervous with Giovanni’s silence and brooding demeanor. Inside their room, with Pikachu and Persian sensing the atmosphere, made scarce and darted back out the door. They’ll just raid the cafeteria or something, instead of being in that awkward situation.

Giovanni whirled on her and Ash hid her gulp, making her face blank and raising an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, what do you want?” he asked her aggressively.

“W-what?” she was taken aback.

“I’m asking what do you want? What else do you want me to do to make all this stop? How long are you going to punish me?” he growled in irritation.

“Then why are you letting me in the first place?” she blurted out angrily. “If you don’t want to listen to me or wear those clothes, why are you buying them and going along with all this in the first place?”

Giovanni took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, before he grimaced and gave her a tired look.

“I do owe you for last night,” which surprised her again. He shrugged. “At the time, it felt like a smart idea to teach you a lesson, and well… my rather ‘perverted’ side –as you would say –got out of hand. It’s been awhile since I was 21, and I had a lot less control over myself and regard towards others at this age.”

She pursed her lips and stared him down. “You said something about ‘teaching me a lesson?’ You said something like that this morning too.”

Here, he glowered at her and she almost cringed back at the force of his glower.

“Are you serious? I step out for one second, and I find you drunk and with a bunch of strangers who were going to take advantage of you, if they’d had their way and I hadn’t finally come back and stepped in. You damn well should consider it a lesson! One, I’m the only one allowed to take advantage of you –” Ash rolled her eyes at that. Now there was classic Giovanni. “Two, I wanted you to freak out about those marks and assume those assholes were the ones who did it, and think again about going over to a bunch of strangers and getting drunk with them at that. I was going to hold it over you for a bit, before telling you the truth and letting you get back at me after.”

She scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. “Well…to be fair, on most of my journeys in every region, people are legitimately nice and I don’t come across those types of people.”

“Did that place look like your run of the mill pokémon-happy people hang around in?” he scowled at her. “It had a bar, for goodness’ sakes. I just left for practically a moment…”

Ash gave him a sheepish look. “I tend to attract trouble. Sorry, alright? No approaching strangers. And no drinking either…unless you’re there to watch me,” she added in mischievously, but he just huffed and said nothing to that. “You know, I can listen. I mean, okay –I wasn’t such a good listener back in my Kanto days, but I’ve become better since then. You could’ve just told me, instead of this whole ‘hickey’ thing.”

He blinked and looked at her blankly for a second.

Ash mentally face palmed. Right. This was Giovanni –when did he ever do anything simple?

“I’ll make a note of that for next time,” he mumbled.

“Speaking of deals,” she continued on, seeing as they were sort of negotiating things. “Would you wear those casual clothes if I said I genuinely think they look good on you?”

Though Giovanni looked reticent, she caught the brief uplift of his lips at her compliment.

“If you wear that negligee you bought, to sleep in at night…Unless you didn’t really buy one?” he bartered.

“I bought it,” she snapped, face turning red. “Fine, I’ll wear it! Are you going to wear the clothes?”

“Did you throw away my suits?”

“No,” she pouted. “They’re in a safe place. So?”

“Fine. Deal,” he acceded. “Did they have to be so tight?”

She scrunched up her eyebrows. “Are they? I thought I got them in the right size…I made sure to get a size bigger after the ones I made you try.”

He was surprised at that. “I thought the ones we bought were the ones I tried on.”

Ash cleared her throat and averted her eyes. “I was just messing with you. I made sure to get a size or two bigger than the ones you tried on. I want them form-fitting, not cut off your circulation,” she said dryly.

Giovanni’s smug smirk returned. “So you would like me to show off my body for you, huh?”

She actually didn’t shirk away and smirked back. “If I get to be eye candy for you, damn straight you’re gonna be my eye candy.”

He eyed her in amusement, wondering if he’s already rubbed off on her a bit. “Alright, deal on that too. Anything else?”

She looked at him hesitantly. “If I want you to try something, like the creamer for your coffee, you’ll at least try it. Just…you know, if I ask something or whatever or –”

“Deal,” he cut her off, tugging on her hair so she wouldn’t stay so embarrassed. “I promise I will do my best to be agreeable to anything you want. Whether it’s for my sake or yours.”

Very pleased by then, Ash tried to think up whatever else she could ask for, since this seemed to be a once in a lifetime opportunity she couldn’t waste.

“Don’t talk with other women,” she blurted out, causing him to give her a strange look. She tried not to blush. “I mean…don’t flirt with other women. Or guys for that matter.”

He gained a wide grin. “You want me to only shower my attention on you then?”

“You know what, yeah, that’s right,” she glared at him. “If you’re going to act like that with me and I can’t stop it, I better damn well be the only one. Plus, we’re ‘married.’ I don’t want to be married to a player.”

He almost burst out in laughter. “Okay. My sole attention will be on you.”

“You mean your sole perverted attention,” she grumbled to herself. “You got anything you want to ask me for?”

“No,” he said honestly, and also shocking her with that and his answer. “I’ve already asked you to go on this whole Flare Takedown mission, and I practically forced you into a fake marriage. I’m fine with that, and your continued cooperation and generally putting up with me and my behavior.”

Ash rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. She glanced at him and then frowned when her mind thought of something she wasn’t really sure of.

“You can…you can occasionally catch a grope in. Occasionally,” she mumbled again. “And do…weird things like last night…Just make sure I’m at least awake!”

Not expecting her offer, Giovanni had to think on that for a bit.

“You mean that?” he looked at her seriously.

He was quick on his feet and had her cornered, pressing her against the wall and closing his face near hers. She was startled and looked skittish for a second, before she glared at him and lifted her chin in defiance.

He grinned and tapped her nose.

“You are an adorable little thing, aren’t you?” he purred. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

Ugh, why did she expect his teasing to become worse?

Ash anxiously waited in bed, watching the clock in the dark. Pikachu and Persian were now in the room, sleeping together at the foot of her bed. Giovanni seemed fast asleep, but she wasn’t so sure. She made sure until she had no doubt he was asleep, before she carefully got off the bed.

She tentatively traveled over to Giovanni’s side of the room and hovered over him on his bed. Then, without further ado, she climbed on the bed and hoped he was a deep sleeper. She tried to lean over him, but she inwardly cursed that he was such a large guy. Having no choice, she hesitantly swung a leg over him and straddled his waist, waiting a few seconds to make sure he was still sleeping. When she was certain, she bent over his neck. Ash almost changed her mind as she stared timidly at him.

Then she bit down.

“Fuuuucck!”

A few minutes later, an irritable Giovanni (holding a crumpled up ball of toilet paper to his neck) and a mortified Ash were standing in front of an amused and yet also confused Nurse Joy.

“Oh dear, w-what happened?” Nurse Joy asked hesitantly.

“Yes, sweetie, tell Nurse Joy what happened?” Giovanni smiled insincerely, glaring at her with his eyes.

Ash coughed. “Um…I was trying to give him a love bite…”

“And she literally bit me,” Giovanni deadpanned.

Nurse Joy bit back her laugh, and gave the two the best professional smile she could maintain right then.

“I’ll just go and get some antiseptic and a bandage for that. Please wait here.”

She left, knowing she was going to burst into giggles as soon as she had the all clear.

The two left was in silence, with Ash wanting to hide under a rock as Giovanni continued glaring.

“I’m sorry, okay? I thought that’s how those things work,” Ash’s face wouldn’t stop burning bright red.

Giovanni sighed. “You don’t actually bite bite the person, Ash. I mean, biting is a little okay if your partner is fine with it, but you’re not really supposed to bite them to form a kiss mark. You suck on the area you want to leave the mark at.”

She didn’t know how, but her face managed to turn even more red.

“S-suck?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, suck. Repeatedly and hard. It breaks up capillaries under the skin, which is how the mark forms. The harder and longer you suck, the bigger the mark and the longer it’ll last.”

Ash fiddled with her hands.

“We better be even now,” he said dryly.

“…You left more marks on me though…”

“…You are not leaving anymore marks on me, until you learn how to make a proper hickey.”

Thankfully, Nurse Joy came back then. She quickly took care of Giovanni’s neck, before surprisingly turning to Ash and doing the same to her.

“There! Matching bandages! It’s like a His and Hers match,” Nurse Joy smiled widely.

The two of them both had red faces by then.

“You got me spinning like a ballerina,
Feeling gangsta every time I see ya,
You're the king and, baby, I'm the queen of
Disaster, disaster.

“You got me spinning like a ballerina,
You're the bad boy that I always dreamed of,
You're the king and I'm the beauty queen of
Disaster, disaster.”

The end of the song had Ash glancing shyly over at Giovanni, blushing lightly as she tried to distract herself with petting Pikachu. They were heading off to a Rocket base nearby, where they’d rest up, retrieve more information, and whatever else Giovanni needed to do there.

Ash was completely distracted.

“S-so why do you have a base all the way here in Kalos?” she asked suddenly. “I thought you only had control in the Kanto and Johto regions.”

“Hm? Oh, well, those two are the only well-known regions that are known Rocket regions,” he explained. “We also are known to have controlling interests in the Sevii and Orange Islands. However, it’s because we keep under the radar and don’t announce our presence in the other regions. We have a foothold everywhere, but it’s safer not to say that to everyone. Aside from the rival Teams getting all huffy about it, we’d lose an advantage over them and make the government wary.

“We don’t want to get too ‘loud’ and look like such a threat that they’d start actively hunting down the organization and the members. We bring enough attention to ourselves with the territories we do have, but if we’re known to practically ‘own’ the other regions as well, Team Rocket will be put under too much scrutiny and be seen as too big to let be. The way we are now, with our current reputation, is fine. Anymore and we’d be signing our own death sentences.”

Ash looked horrified at that, and he glanced over at her to see her look.

“Not literally, I mean,” he added. “I think,” he muttered that last part.

“Why are we ‘married?’” she decided to ask as well. “I don’t get it. Why do we need an alibi to journey together?”

Giovanni looked at her in surprise. “What’s the age of your usual companions?”

“Uh, well, around my age, I think,” Ash thought about it. “At least the girls were. Brock was 18 when he started with me, and Cilan was 19.”

“And Brock left when he was around my current age, yes? This Cilan left around 20, I assume,” Giovanni continued at her nod. “We need an alibi to travel together. I look, act, and am older than you, with no clear pokémon journey goal to reasonably travel with you for. If people aren’t going to think I’m traveling with you to just take advantage –not that I wouldn’t like to,” he smirked at her, and she was tempted to hit him, “then we’re not being honest with the situation. Everyone will get suspicious and scrutinize us and our activities more than we’d like them to, which might put Team Flare onto us. At least if we’re married, then we have a reason to be traveling together and be in close quarters.”

She hadn’t actually thought of that. It actually made her feel a little useless, because he was doing all this planning and thinking of all the details, and it didn’t seem like she was helping or contributing at all.

“You look upset,” he noted. “What’s wrong?”

Ash hadn’t realized her expression had revealed how she was feeling, but she might as well tell him.

“I’m not really doing much,” she said dejectedly. “I agreed to help you, but I haven’t really done anything. Even when we attacked that first base, all I ever really did was get stuck being forced into a makeover. You’ve done much more for me on the other hand –you’re doing all the planning, all the hacking into systems and work, and thinking up things that I haven’t even thought to think of. And when it comes to my journey through Kalos, you’re even letting me use your pokémon, driving me all everywhere, and letting me use your money. I seem pretty useless.”

He frowned. Reaching over, he ruffled her hair.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re only just starting out and we haven’t gotten to do too much in the first place. There’s also plenty of more things for you to help plan out later on. Just be patient.”

Ash felt a little bit more relieved then, and hid the small smile that crept onto her face.

Giovanni was more than a little relieved when not only did Ash fall asleep on the way, but when they’d finally reached the base. He parked the car in his personal spot, and went to retrieve Ash. Pikachu clambered from on top of Ash and up his arm, jumping from his shoulder and landing on his head.

“Comfortable?” he asked the electric mouse sarcastically.

“Pika~”

“The pair of you two,” he mumbled, but he held Ash securely and made sure Pikachu was on safely before going into the base.

In his office, he set Ash onto his couch for now, letting her sleep while he went to finish some work and look over some papers. Pikachu was curiously poking around the office, looking at everything and happily moving and touching whatever was in reach.

The door burst open and a certain trio was there.

“Boss, Boss, you’re here!” James cried out excitedly.

“Congrats on the marriage!” Meowth followed up from James’ greeting.

Jessie held up a wrapped up box. “Yeah, even if it’s to the twerp. We got you a gift!”

Giovanni stared dumbly at them.

“What?”